IM conversations
by Scarlett Redd
Summary: A collection of random and funny conversations through IM between Twilight characters. Requests are welcome and encouraged! I'm just writing this for fun... it is meant to be entirely pointless and funny... It's just to give me a bit of a break...Enjoy!
1. Edward And Bella

**Author's Note: Okay, so I randomly got this idea. I thought it might be fun to do random IM conversations between the Twilight characters. I'm thinking I'll just update whenever I have another idea. Lol! These will be ideal for my writer's block, as most of them probably won't be following a story line, just a bunch of one-shot type things┘ Anyway, please review, and if you have any suggestions, please share them, I'm up for requests! Let me know who you'd like to see a conversation between! Enjoy!**

**EDIT: I'm sorry for the weird little symbols befroe guys, I only realized after I posted it, and then I had to attempt to edit them all and it was being odd... and now there are other little funny symbols and... I don't really know. So bear with me, I'm trying to fix them :)**

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. Du-uh. Hehe.

Bella: Hi Edward.

Edward: Hello Bella.

Bella: So, you got a minute online? I didn't think you would...

Edward: I have as long as I'd like.

Bella: Ooh, that's good. I miss you.

Edward: I miss you too Bella. So what did you do today?

Bella: Nothing interesting.

Edward: I disagree. Most things you do are interesting.

Bella: Like what?!

Edward: Everything.

Bella: Uh huh... If you say so.

Edward: So are you going to tell me?

Bella: What?

Edward: What you did today, Bella.

Bella: I went shopping.

Edward: Bella! I am disappointed. Why on earth did you not wait for Alice...

Bella: Grocery shopping Edward. Geez.

Edward: Oh. Oops.

Bella: Ha ha.

Edward: That's all you did today?

Bella: Yes.

Edward: No. I'm not stupid.

Bella: I never said you were...

Edward: Bella? What else did you do today?

Bella: Ha! You can't dazzle me over the computer!!!

Edward: I think I'll have to get a webcam...

Bella: NO!

Edward: Haha. We'll see.

Bella: Whatever Edward.

Edward: Bella, I'm going to ask you one more time. What happened today? It can't be anything really bad.

Edward: Bella?

Edward: BELLA?!

Bella: Okay! Okay!

Edward: So?

Bella: So I had an incident in the grocery store...

Edward: Uh huh...

Bella: Well┘ I was pushing my cart and then I kind of went to turn around, and I knocked over a pile of canned soup. And then I tripped over the wheel, and fell right on top of the pile... It wasn't a good expirience.

Bella: Edward!

Bella: Edward stop laughing, it isn't funny!

Bella: EDWARD! I'M LOGGING OFF!!!

Edward: No Bella! Relax. I wasn't laughing.

Bella: Mmm...

Edward: Okay, so maybe I was a little... Be happy Emmett isn't here.

Bella: Edward!!!

Edward: Sorry Bella. But only you could find trouble in a grocery store.

Bella: Yeah, well... Mike Newton was there too.

Edward: Oh?

Bella: Yeah. He found it quite amusing. But he helped me put all the soup back.

Edward: Great.

Bella: Edward, no need to be jealous ;) He just took me to dinner and a movie after and then drove me home.

Edward: He what?!

Bella: I'm joking! Hahahaha!!!!

Edward: Hmph.

Bella: Oh Edward... As IF.

Edward: Yeah. But I believed you for a minute.

Bella: Good. Payback.

Edward: Hmm...

Bella: So you'll be home tomorrow? In the morning?

Edward: Yes, love. I'll be there when you wake up.

Bella: Okay. I have to write an email back to Renee now. Before she freaks out too much.

Edward: Okay. I'll let you do that. Don't knock over any more cans of soup while I'm away. I want to rescue you next time.

Bella: Shut up Edward.

Edward: I love you too Bella...

Bella: Hmph. Fine.

Edward: Goodbye Bella. I miss you. See you tomorrow.

Bella: Kay. Love you.

Edward: Bye.

Review, PLEASE!!!! Thanks!


	2. Emmett stirs things up

Author's Note: Thanks so much for all the reviews. Again, sorry about the weird symbols in the first one... I don't know what caused them. Hopefully it won't do that this time, but if it does, please bear with me. I'm doing the best I can to fix it.

PLEASE REVIEW. The reviews honestly keep me going. Lol. This actually wasn't a request (that I know of), I just was thinking about writing it. I am considering ANY request you may have, so in a review just go ahead and say who you would like to see a conversation between... It can be anyone in the Twilight series. It is preferably between 2-3 people. Maybe 4. I know I did more here, but it is harder to do. If you do have an idea that involves more than 4 people, you can post it anyway. Like I said, I'll consider every request :) Thanks!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters...

Emmett: Hiya Edward!

Edward: Emmett, just because I downloaded this IM service doesn't prevent you

from coming into the room if you want to talk to me.

Emmett: I'm too tired.

Edward: Yeah, right. More like lazy. Funny, I didn't think vampires can get lazy….

_Emmett has added Bella to the conversation_

Emmett: Bella, tell Edward to be nice to me!

Bella: What now guys? Charlie is right here, he thinks I'm working on a term

paper. Did you not wonder why my status was set to BUSY?

Edward: Emmett! Leave her alone!

Emmett: No need to defend, come ON.

Edward: Yes need to defend. Stop bothering Bella.

Emmett: I'm not bothering her.

Edward: Yeah, you are.

Emmett: No, I'm not!

Edward: Bella, is he bothering you?

Edward: Bella?

Edward: Bella?

Emmett: Ha ha, she's mad at you.

Edward: Bella, why are you not replying?

Bella: Huh? Sorry, I'm working on my term paper.

Emmett: Take a break! Talk to us!

Bella: Not everyone can work at inhuman speeds you know Emmett.

Edward: Let her work Emmett…

Bella: Thank you Edward.

_Emmett has added Alice to the conversation_

Alice: WHAT is it?

Edward: That was fast.

Bella: Tell them to leave me be!

Emmett: We're having a conversation! ONLINE ALICE!

Alice: Yeah. Okay. Good Emmett. Hang on.

_Alice has added Rosalie to the conversation_

Bella: You're kidding right? Guys, I don't have time to talk to you all… I'm busy!

Alice: Hush Bella. Rose, you have to see your husband right now.

Rosalie: Oh, I do, he's right in front of me…

Alice: Right. Well listen to him go on and on…

Emmett: Oh this is so cool, check it out, I'm typing to everyone!!! HI ROSE!

Rosalie: Oh wow. EMMETT I'M RIGHT HERE!

Emmett: Oh I know, but it's so much cooler to type.

Bella: Yeah, can I leave now?

Edward: Please don't Bella, they're driving me insane.

Bella: Then come over or something.

Edward: It's past curfew for you. I'll be there in a few hours.

Alice: Can we all leave Bella alone now? Why is she even in this conversation.

Edward: Emmett added her.

Bella: Yeah.

Emmett: You guys! You make me sound like a monster…

Rosalie: Haha Emmett.

Alice: Exactly.

Bella: Yep.

Edward: HAH!

Emmett: You can't say Bella isn't amusing though.

Bella: Shut up Emmett. I know how to settle this one…

_Bella has added Carlisle to the conversation_

Bella: Carlisle, could you do something for me?

Alice: HAHAHAHAHA.

Carlisle: Um, guys? In case you haven't noticed we do live in the same house…

Emmett: BUT CARLISLE! We can type stuff to eachother and it just POPS up on

the screen!!!!

Rosalie:……and I married him.

Alice: HA HA

Carlisle: Oh my. Well, I'll admit it's intriguing.

Carlisle: Sorry Bella, what can I help you with?

Bella: Can you go smash all the computers in the house?

Emmett: NOOOO! NOT GEORGE!

Alice: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. You guys'll love this one!

Edward: I'm almost afraid to ask Emmett. George?

Emmett: My computer!!! What, your computers don't have names?!

Bella: Oh wow. Okay, you know what, I've about had enough.

Rosalie: Emmett, for the love of all that is good…. YOU NAMED YOUR

LAPTOP!?

Edward: Emmett! That's genius! I'm naming mine… Bella.

Bella: Awww, you name your laptop after me Edward? That's so sweet.

Rosalie: Yeah, and not creepy at all…

Emmett: coughsmoothtalkercough

Edward: Shut up Emmett.

Alice: Why are we naming the computers?

Carlisle: Guys, may I bring up the point a second time that WE ALL HAVE

SUPER-HEARING AND LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE?

_Alice has added Jasper to the conversation_

Bella: How many laptops do you guys have?!

Jasper: Not very many. Carlisle has about five… the rest of us have two or three.

Bella: SERIOUSLY?!

Edward: Yep.

Bella: Okay, you know what, I'm really leaving this time… this is stupid.

Emmett: NOOO! You're going to miss the fun part!

Edward: Oh no Emmett not…

Alice: OMG! HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Jasper: WHAT?

Rosalie: Emmett… don't….

_Emmett has added Esme to the conversation_

Emmett: Esme, truth or dare?

Esme: Why am I talking to you all online when we are all within one hundred feet

of eachother?

Carlisle: My point exactly.

Bella: Can I go now?

Emmett: NO!

Edward: Yes!

Rosalie: Get it over with already Emmett!

Emmett: Truth or dare Esme!?!?! PLEASE?

Esme: Fine. Truth.

Emmett: You were supposed to pick dare!!!

Carlisle: Then why did you say TRUTH or dare?

Emmett: 'Cause that's how you play the game! Everyone knows you're supposed

to pick dare!

Bella: Truth is better. You can lie!

Emmett: You can't lie in a truth question!

Bella: Wait, I thought you couldn't even pick truth?

Emmett: Yeah, but if you do you have to tell the truth. Anyway, Esme, ready for

your dare?

Esme: I picked truth!

Bella: Okay, you know what, I think I'm going to just go now.

Emmett: WAIT!

Alice: Oh wow….

Carlisle: I give up!

Bella: That's it! See you tonight Edward.

_**Bella has logged off**_

_**Edward has logged off**_

_**Alice has logged off**_

_**Jasper has logged off**_

_**Esme has logged off**_

Emmett: Rose?

Rosalie: I'm out Emmett. Besides, I'm right here!

Rosalie has logged out

Emmett: Hello? I feel so alone. I think that's everyone…. I'm all alone. So

unloved. Left out to die. Nobody cares….

Carlisle: Uhh… Emmett?

_**Emmett has logged off**_

Carlisle: Finally. I think I'll have to disable the internet in this house…


	3. Netspeak  the language of the devil

Author's Note: So this is a pretty short one. It was requested by a reviewer, **Hellooscottishman**, so you can thank them for the awesome idea. I hope I did it justice, and that it's close to what you thought! As always, please review:) I'll try and come up with stories and such to some of the other requests, but this one seemed really creative, and it just seems like something Alice would do to be funny... I'm no expert in netspeak, so I tried my best. I actually really hate netspeak... if you don't understand something she says just ask and I can clear it up in the next author's note or something. I think it's fairly easy to understand though.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. I also do not own Bananas in pajamas. Yeah, just read.

Emmett: BELLA! HELP!

Bella: WHAT Emmett? Did Edward step on George? I hope he did!

Emmett: What, you have another term paper?

Bella: No. Last time was just a bit...strange.

Emmett: Okay, ANYWAYS, Alice is going mental!

_Emmett has added Alice to the conversation_

Alice: OMG lyk heyy B!

Bella: Huh?

Emmett: Exactly!

Alice: Y R U so cnfsd?

Emmett: She read a book on netspeak. She won't stop!

Bella: Alice honey, I don't know what you're saying!

Alice: Y? im just spkin dffently.

Bella: She seems to not understand what VOWELS are. Alice, A E I O U. And sometimes Y.

Emmett: Alice! Please!!!!

Bella: Wait, why does it matter? She stil talks normal, right?

Emmett: Right.

Bella: Okay, so I can go now, right?

Alice: B, ur grmpy 2day. E left 2 hunt, rite?

Emmett: BELLA! It's only us two in the house, she's driving me mental!

Bella: Okay, okay. Alice, please type out everything you say as Emmett is too slow to understand it.

Emmett: HEY!

Alice: LOL!

Bella: HA!

Emmett: Alice, I can hear you laughing out loud. What does LOL mean anyway?

Bella: Oh my...Wow Emmett, you really are slow.

Alice: OMG OMG OMG. ROTFL.

Emmett: Bella! She fell on the floor in hysterics.

Bella: EMMETT! HAHAHAHAHA. You're sooo...

Alice: B, tlk lyk me. It drives him crazy!

Bella: Lyk Omg A, i c ur point.

Alice: i no eh? pls he has NO clu wht we say

Emmett: AHHH! TALK NORMAL! NOWWWW!!!!

Bella: wht E?

Alice: idk what he's sying B!

Bella: So, A, whns the othrs cming home?

Alice: 2 days.

Bella: gr8, sme time 2morra?

Alice: U got it.

Emmett: NOOOO! TALK PROPERLY.

Bella: newayz, do u guyz wnt 2 come over?

Alice: U cn cm here if u want.

Bella: Snds gr8! Whn?

Emmett: HELP ME GOD! HELP ME CARLISLE! HELP ME BANANAS IN PAJAMS!

Bella: Bananas in pajamas?

Emmett: Er...

Alice: He watched it this morning.

Bella: Wow.

Emmett: Shut up. HEY I GOT YOU TO STOP TALKING IN NETSPEAK!

Alice: Nice one.

Bella: Whatevs Emmett.

Emmett: Oh no you didn't!

Bella: Oh yes I did!

Emmett:ALICE! Bella's picking on me!

Alice: Oh grow up Emmett. And here, read this.

Emmett: ALICE! Don't throw books at me!

Alice: It's my netspeak book.

Emmett: OOH! PRETTY PRETTY SPRAKLY COVER!

Bella: ROTFLOL.


	4. I leave you two in charge for ONE day

Author's Note: Okay, so I randomly got this idea, and decided I might as well type it. I might write a one-shot to go along with it, let me know if you guys want to see that… anyway, ENJOY! And thank you thank you thank you for ALL the reviews, honestly guys. I love them! This is another Cullen one, but I think the next one will involve Jacob, because lots of you seem to want him to make an appearance  Thanks to Banana for the (partial) idea. Banana's idea is at the end of this story, the actual content was my own idea.

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own Twilight….

Edward: Bella, we're back! I guess I can't come over now though, right?

Bella: Nah. But Charlie's looking tired. You'll come tonight, right?

Edward: Yep. So, I hear your visit with Alice and Emmett was interesting?

_Emmett has entered this conversation _

Bella: Oh no!

Emmett: Bella! Edward!

Edward: Oh man.

Bella: Emmett, we spent the DAY together, why on earth do you want to talk to me now.

Emmett: Well… the truth is… I'm in love with you Bella.

Bella: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…..

Edward: Say what?

Emmett: Haha, I was joking.

Edward: You better have been…

Bella: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Edward: Bella, love?

Bella: Hello boys. This is Charlie. Might I ask you why my daughter has just fallen off

the computer chair laughing like a maniac?

Edward: Emmett was telling jokes.

Bella: I'm back, I'm good. Oh my…

Emmett: Teehee. Looks like the day did you some good.

Bella: Today was crazy Emmett. I can't believe you and Alice.

_Alice has entered the conversation_

Alice: Bella! You had fun, ADMIT IT!

Edward: What did you guys do?

Bella: Well, first, Alice had me try on a bunch of clothes at bunch of stores I'd never

shop at in a million years.

Emmett: And I had to sit through the whole thing!

Alice: Oh, you had your fun afterwards.

Bella: I'm cringing right now. Just so you all know.

Edward: Do I really want to know?

Alice: YES!

Emmett: Oh yeah!

Bella: No! NO! NO NO NO!

Edward: Ha ha. Okay.

Bella: Anyway. Since you're going to ask anyway, Alice then brings me into a bathing

suit store, and hands me about ten different bikinis and three tankinis. So, I was trying on

the tankinis first…. You know, I don't like bikinis. And I was seeing if it fit in the mirror when Emmett runs into the change room tangled in a bikini top going, "HELP ALICE. HELLLLP."

Edward: Wow. Emmett!

Bella: So the sales lady had to cut the top off of him eventually, and we had to pay for it.

Then she kicked us out…. That part wasn't so bad I'll admit. But it was embarassing.

Alice: Yeah, well Emmett ruined that part.

Emmett: I was just trying to see what it was like to wear a bikini top. So sue me!

Bella: I wish I could.

Alice: But that wasn't it. We finished shopping, and Bella said she had to go back to Charlie's. But she needed groceries on the way. So Emmett and I drove her over to the grocery store….

Bella: And they came in with me. Apparently they heard the story about the soup….

Edward: Sorry….

Bella: Whatever Edward.

Emmett: Oh yeah, the soup! Did you know they now have the display arranged so that nobody can knock it over?

Edward: Emmett! Shut up!

Bella: ANYWAYS. Alice and I were in the milk section, and I was looking for yoghurt.

Emmett had wondered off some time ago, so we weren't looking out for him…

Alice: So he comes around the corner holding a small box…. Bella and I were wondering what it was. I hadn't seen it coming for some reason…

Bella: And he comes up close and we see he's holding a box of tampons.

Edward: Tampons?!

Alice: Yep!

Emmett: They were interesting! I didn't know what they…were…for.

Alice: So he comes up to us and asks us what they're for….

Bella: It was hysterically funny. Alice and I almost fell over we were laughing so hard.

Emmett: People started to stare… stupid girls.

Alice: No Emmett, I'm pretty sure they were laughing at the fact that you didn't know how to pronounce "tampon". And that you were screaming different variations of the word at the top of your lungs…

Edward: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Bella: It was awful.

Edward: I put you two in charge for A DAY, and this is what happens?!

Emmett: Well, sorry! At least the nice woman who worked at the store explained it to me.

Bella: Actually, that was pretty funny. Before she kicked us out.

Alice: Well, she kicked Emmett out. Bella and I finished the shopping.

Bella: And at least the cashier gave us 30 off… she said our visit was the highlight of

her day.

Edward: HAHA. Wow. Sounds interesting….

Emmett: But honestly, it was repulsive. I thought they were for nosebleeds.

Alice: NOSEBLEEDS?!

Edward: Please Emmett!

Bella: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Edward: Bella? Breathe.

Alice: She's fine.

Bella: Yeah. Okay. I think I'm going to go to bed now.

Alice: Lyk, kk, bibi B.

Bella: Bibi A. Edward, r u cmin ovr l8r?

Edward: Huh?

Emmett: NO! NOT THE NETSPEAK AGAIN! NOT THE NETSPEAKKKKK!!!!!

_**Alice has left the conversation**_

_**Emmett has left the conversation**_

Edward: I'll be there in ten minutes, okay Bella?

Bella: Yep…

_**Edward has left the conversation**_

Carlisle: Ohh, I'm starting to like this IM thing…

Bella: Carlisle?!

Carlisle: Yep! I figured out how to watch conversations without you seeing it.

Bella: Oh. Well, then do me a favour Carlisle?

Carlisle: Yes Bella?

Bella: Never let Emmett live this down.

Carlisle: Done! Goodnight, Bella.

Bella: 'Night.

Author's Note: Okay, so please review! I hope you liked it. And don't forget to request who you want to see having a conversation or an scenario idea you want to see! I'll consider anything! And if you want me to write a one-shot of the day they're describing here, you can say so in a review also….


	5. Bella's Prank

Author's note: So here's another random ramble. I thought it was kind of funny… and…you'll see. Hopefully it's not too confusing. Jacob's coming in the next one, I swear ;)

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters.

Edward: Carlisle! Hi!

Carlisle: Oh, hello Edward.

Edward: Actually, it's Bella. I logged onto his computer.

Carlisle: Why?

Edward: To trick Emmett.

Carlisle: Ooh, I like it.

Edward: Yeah. Only Edward doesn't know it.

Carlisle: He'll find out soon enough though, won't he?

Edward: Alice is keeping him busy. They're playing chess. Hopefully I have a few

minutes at least.

Carlisle: Okay, well, good luck.

Edward: Keep quiet, okay Carlisle? He might think we're up to something if you're here.

Carlisle: Sure. But I'm staying here if you don't mind. I don't want to miss this…

_Edward has added Emmett to the conversation _

Edward: Hey Emmett!

Emmett: Hi Edward. What's up? I thought you and Bella and Alice were going shopping this weekend.

Edward: And I thought you'd be hunting with Rosalie.

Emmett: I'm taking a break. I wanted to check my email.

Edward: Yeah. Okay. Um…Emmett, why didn't you take George?

Emmett: Ohh! George is not an out-doorsy type. Besides, he might get hurt!

Edward: Well… Look, I'm sorry Emmett. But Bella kind of fell on top of George.

Emmett: Oh. Well, I'm sure the computers fine, Bella weighs next to nothing…

Edward: Well… the thing is… she kind of pulled me down with her… so… George is kind of…Ummm…

Emmett: NO! He's DEAD?! Edward!

Edward: I'm sorry Emmett! Really!!!

Emmett: He was my one and only George… and now he's gone.

Edward: Awww, Emmett. Don't be like that.

Emmett: Your girlfriend broke my laptop!

Edward: Yes, but…

Emmett: BUT WHAT?!

Edward: …I don't know what to say to you Emmett.

Emmett: WAAAHHHHH!!!!!

Edward: I'll buy you a new one.

Emmett: YOU CAN'T BUY LOVE EDWARD.

Edward: Wow.

_Bella has entered the conversation_

Edward: That was quick.

Bella: BELLA! What are you DOING?!

Edward: How do you know my password?!

Bella: How do you know mine?

Edward: That's my secret.

Bella: Well there you go.

Emmett: Does anybody care?! GEORGE IS DEAD. Bella, you will PAY!

Bella: WHAT EMMETT? Don't you lay a finger on her!

Emmett: Bella, why are you talking about yourself in third-person?

Edward: Nice one Edward. Thanks a lot, I was doing fine.

Bella: Well sorry Bella, but he threatened you.

Emmett: I DON'T GET IT!

Edward: You could have at least pretended to be me!

Bella: Yeah, well not my fault. Alice had a vision of Emmett freaking out at you. How was I supposed to know…

Emmett: I don't understand!

Edward: EDWARD! Why must you intervene. Emmett wouldn't hurt me, would you Emmett?

Bella: Emmett? Would you hurt Bella?

Emmett: Wait, who are we talking about, Edward or Bella?

Edward: Me.

Bella: Bella.

Emmett: WHAT?!

Edward: Oops. I mean Bella.

Bella: Me!

Emmett: Wow.

Carlisle: Well. That backfired.

Emmett: CARLISLE! I don't understand! What are they doing?

Carlisle: Emmett, Bella is on Edward's computer, and Edward is on Bella's.

Emmett: Why?

Carlisle: Forget it.

Bella: Bella love, can we switch back accounts?

Edward: I kind of like it this way.

Bella: Whatever.

Edward: Well anyway, did you and Alice have fun playing Chess?

Bella: Yes. I beat her.

Edward: Hah.

Emmett: This is too much for me.

Bella: Hey Emmett, guess what?

Emmett: What?

Bella: I'm logged onto George.

Emmett: WHAT?! You mean you didn't break it!?

Edward: EDWARD!

Bella: WHAT? Who broke George!?

Carlisle: Uh oh.

Edward: Let it drop Edward. It was a JOKE Emmett.

Emmett: NOT funny Bella! Er...Edward. Bella. Wait, whoever.

Bella: HA ha ha ha ha. It is kind of funny actually Emmett. Nice Bella. What was the story?

Edward: I tripped and brought you down with me and we fell on the laptop.

Bella: You thought I'd trip! HAH!

Edward: You realise you just said that under MY name?! HAH!

Emmett: This is too strange for me. Bye guys.

_Emmett has logged off._

Bella: HAH Bella, you got him to log off! That's an accomplishment my dear!

Edward: Why thank you Edward. Now, I'm going to come see you, okay?

Bella: Yep. See you.

Carlisle: Bye guys.

Bella: Bye Carlisle!

Edward: Bye!

A/N: PLEASE R&R! And also, tell me if I should write a one-shot to go along with the last chapter. I've thought about it… but let me know. Oh, and remember to put any requests you may have for IM conversations in your review! I am currently working on a few of them, so keep them up! Thanks guys!


	6. Garbage can fiasco

**Yeah, so I don't own Twilight. As if you didn't know that. For the record, I also do not own microwave popcorn or the Candian flag. Just a random bit of information for you. ;):p Lol.**

Jake: Bella! Hi!

Bella: Hey Jake. How are you?

Jake: I'm okay. I miss you.

Bella: I miss you too. But it has to be this way Jacob.

Jake: Yeah, I know.

Bella: So how is the pack?

Jake: They're all good...

Bella: Hmm... You aren't going to tell me anything here, are you?

Jake: Nope ;) You'll have to come down to La Push...

Bella: Jake!

Jake: Hahaha. No, really, there's nothing. Besides, I'm still stuck in human form, so it's not as if I'd be able to hear it anyways.

Bella: Oh. Right.

Emmett has entered the conversation

Bella: EMMETT! What is it now?

Jacob: What the...

Emmett: Bella! Edward is going crazy!

Jake: He's always going crazy.

Emmett: Why are you talking to the dog Bella?

Jake: Why are you here, leech.

Bella: STOP IT BOTH OF YOU!

Emmett: I'm, going in a minute, but Bella, I think you should call Edward or something.

Bella: Okay, I give, WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM? Vampires don't go insane. And you know as well as I do that I have to stay around the house

today.

Emmett: He's blaring loud heavy metal music and won't respond to any of us.

Jake: He's probably finally gone insane.

Emmett: Well, anyway, I think he misses you.

Bella: Ya think?

Jake: HAha.

Bella: Well... go give him a kiss on the cheek for me Emmett.

Jake: Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Emmett: BELLA!

Bella: Or, you know, tell him to log onto here, and I'll talk to him. I'm sure he'd love to tell you all about my lastest clumsy fiasco.

Jake: What did you do?

Bella: I'm not telling.

Emmett: Aww, common, he only told us that once.

Bella: That was enough.

Emmett: Oh man, now he's moved the the piano.

Jake: Okay leech, we get it. The bloodsucker misses Bella. There is nothing she can do about it. Can you go now, please?

Bella: Jake!

Emmett: Yeah, yeah, okay.

Bella: Tell Edward hi for me, okay?

Emmett: Yeah, sure thing Bella. Are you coming over later?

Bella: Sounds like I'd better... You can't send Edward here can you?

Emmett: Nope. Too sunny.

Bella: Mmm. Okay. Bye Emmett.

Emmett has left the conversation

Jake: We done?

Bella: Jake, be nice. Emmett's a good guy.

Jake: Yeah, sure.

Bella: He is!

Jake: Okay Bells, I don't want to argue.

Bella: Fine, fine.

Jake: So tell me what happened... the thing you didn't want to tell...Emmett.

Bella: No!

Jake: Please Bells?

Bella: Will you tell anyone?

Jake: My lips are sealed.

Bella: Except to the pack.

Jake: I won't think about it, honest.

Bella: Ugh. Fine. So I was bringing out the trash, and then I saw our neighbour, Mrs. Heckly.

Jake: So?

Bella: Sooo, she is...well, old, so I put the garbage can on the driveway, and went to help her.

Jake: And?

Bella: SO, then she starts saying "Oh, just because I'm old, dosen't mean I can't bring out the trash..."

Jake: No way!

Bella: Yeah. And then I say, "Well, I was just trying to help..."

Jake: Yeah...

Bella: So, she sets her garbage down, and informs me she dosen't need my help. So I shrug and go to turn away, but I ran into the garbage can.

Jake: So you bumped into a grabage can? That's not so bad.

Bella: Er... not exaclty. I kind of fell...in the garbage can.

Jake: You FELL INTO the garbage can?????!!

Bella: Um. Yes?

Jake: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Bella: JACOB! I swear, I'll log off.

Jake: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Jake: Bells?

Jake: BELLA? Common, I was jokng?

Jake: Isabella Swan, don't make me come over there.

Bella: You are a mean, mean boy Jacob Black.

Jake: And you are a wonderfully funny girl Bella Swan.

Bella: It's not funny!

Jake: Yeah, it pretty much is.

Edward has entered the conversation and is appearing offline.

Bella: IT ISN'T FUNNY JACOB!

Jake: Yes it is BELLA!

Bella: You're crazy.

Jake: You're clumsy.

Bella: NO WAY. I totally didn't know that already!

Jake: This just proves it.

Bella: Just because I fell into a garbage can, doesn't mean you can laugh at me. It could happen to anyone, just so you know.

Jake: But it happened to you. Which is why it's hysterical.

Bella: Oh yeah... that's really mature Jake... Really good.

Jake: Okay, okay. So what happened after Mrs. Grumpy-pants next door realized you were in her garbage.

Bella: I don't feel like telling you that. I wasn't even going to tell you anything.

Jake: Ohh, please Bella?

Bella: No!

Jake: BELLA??? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?

Bella: Jake! No.

Jake: PLEASE?

Bella: UGH! Fine, so she kind of couldn't do anything.

Jake: Why? Wait, do I even want to know.

Bella: Probably not, but you asked for it. So the garbage can kind of fell over, and I was rolling down the driveway.

Jake: With garbage everywhere? EW.

Bella: Yeah, pretty much. You can probably fingure out I spent an hour in the shower afterwards. Ick.

Jake: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Bella: Ohh yeah, laugh it up Jacob.

Jake: OMG! LOL!!! HAHAHAHA.

Bella: Ugh. I shouldn't have told you. That was stupid. Jacob, you are the only one besides Mrs. Heckle to hear about this. The mean old lady, she screamed at me for denting her garbage can...

Jake: Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Edward: That's quite enough Jacob.

Bella: EDWARD! Oh crap!

Edward: What is it?

Bella: How much did you hear?

Edward: Plenty.

Bella: CRAP!

Jake: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Bella: Okay. Goodbye.

Edward: Bella! Wait!

Bella: What?

Edward: Are you hurt?

Bella: No, I'm fine. Okay?

Edward: Alright. Hey, was it fun?

Bella: WHAT?

Edward: Well, you rolled down a hill in a garbage can. I've never done that.

Jake: Me neither. Hey, the bloodsucker's got a point. Was it fun Bells?

Bella: Oh, you have got to be kidding me!

Edward: I just have one request.

Bella: Uh oh.

Edward: It's a small one, really. Next time you feel like doing something like that, please come over here... I'd love to see that first hand. We could

even use EMPTY garbage cans here!

Bella: Ugh.

Jake: HAH!

Edward: Hahaha.

Bella: Ugh! Men...

Bella has logged off.

**A/N: Ahhh, poor Bella.**

**I didn't like this one so much, but I'll post it anyways... I'll try to make the next one better:P**

**REVIEW! PLEASE?!**


	7. The Chatroom

**Disclaimer: Nope, don't own it.**

**ENJOY!**

Emmett: Jasper... I'm bored.

Jasper: Um... So why aren't you coming into the next room to tell me this? Or you know, just say something to me? I can hear you typing!

Emmett: Uh, because I'm BORED. We need to do something FUN.

Emmett has added Edward to the conversation.

Edward: WHAT NOW Emmett? I'm reading!

Emmett: Oh hush, we are going to log onto a chat room!

Jasper: We are? Why?

Edward: Really...WHY?!

Emmett: Because it'll be fun. Now, I'll make you all accounts.

Edward: Emmett, this is Bella. I'm, sitting here with Edward, um, WHY again?

Emmett: BELLA! Quick Edward, go get her another computer and she can join us! Ooh, this'll be good.

Bella has entered the conversation

Bella: Oh fine.

Edward: Ugh.

Jasper: Emmett, please? Can we all just...not?

Emmett: Common guys!

Bella: Whatever.

Emmett: That's the spirit.

Emmett: Okay guys! I made myself a username!

Bella: What is it?

Emmett: MuscleMan

Bella: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Edward: Emmett, you're dead! Bella is now laughing so hard she can't breathe!

Jasper: Wow... that's mature.

Emmett: OH whatever. Okay, now JASPER. What do you want your name to be?

Jasper: Uhm... OOH, I've got it! How about... I don't know, JASPER?

Emmett: That's no fun! I've got it! Bloodboy

Jasper: Let me get this straight, you're muscleMAN and I'm bloodBOY.

Emmett: It sounds better than bloodman...

Edward: Okay. Whatever guys... Can we get this over with?

Emmett: Okay. Edward, what about you?

Edward: I don't care Emmett...

Emmett: Ohh good. You can be masochisticvampire

Bella: Hah!

Jasper: Ooh, that's original.

Edward: Wow.

Emmett: NOW, BELLA!

Bella: WHAT? Can't I just go on with Edward?

Edward: Yes. That'd be okay.

Emmett: NO! Now, we need a good one for Bella.

Jasper: I'll be waiting here for a while I think.

Bella: How about just Bella. It's not that common a name.

Emmett: But it's no fun.

Bella: I've got tons of nicknames Emmett, take your pick.

Edward: And hurry.

Jasper: OOH THE PAIN! I'm so bored, it hurts.

Emmett: Shut up Jasper. Okay, Bella, you're vampiregirl

Bella: Uhm... so Edward and I log on and we both have vampire in our names? Won't people think we're a little...strange?

Emmett: Yep. Okay, so I'm putting you all in the chat room.

Jasper: WAIT! What kind of chat room?

Emmett: Oh don't worry, it's just a random chat.

Bella: Mmm... common, hurry up.

You have entered the chat.

Muscleman: Wassup?

Fang456: Heyyyyy!

vampiregirl: Hello!

Bloodboy: Hi.

Masochisticvampire: Hello there.

Greenstar: Wow, four at once.

vampiregirl: We're all in the same house.

Masochisticvampire: Yeah. It was planned.

Greenstar: Oh.

Fang456: Eeeemmm... I have a question. If you're all in the same house, why are you talking to eachother on here.

Bloodboy: Because SOMEONE needs a hobby. They know who they are.

Muscleman: Yeah Bella!

vampiregirl: AHEM!

Masochisticvampire: Leave her alone!

Fang456: OMG, you're real name is Bella vampiregirl?

vampiregirl: Yes.

Greenstar: What a weird name.

Fang456: I know. Kind of sounds like a stripper.

vampiregirl: Excuse me?

Bloodboy: Woah.

Muscleman: HEY kid!

Masochisticvampire: Well... that was pretty rude. And I like your name Bella.

vampiregirl: You're biased!

Masochisticvampire: No, I'm not. I've liked it ever since I met you.

Bloodboy: It's a perfectly good name. And it's short for Isabella.

Fang456: OMG. That's my real name too! But people call me Izzy.

Masochisticvampire: And that's better than Bella? HAH!

Fang456: AHEM.

Greenstar: I never knew that!

vampiregirl: I am not a stripper! I think we are all missing the point here! Okay? Me. Not. A. Stripper.

Masochisticvampire: Okay love, we know, you're not a stripper. You know what, this is really stupid. Emmett, WHY on earth are we doing this again.

Muscleman: Because I'm BORED.

Bloodboy: SO PLAY CHESS WITH ROSALIE!

Muscleman: I did that already. Besides, she and Alice went out to...shop.

Masochisticvampire: Ooh, and what are they...shopping...for?

vampiregirl: Hahahaha.

Muscleman: Um? Bras?

Masochisticvampire: Bras?

Greenstar: I think this is the sort of stuff that you should not announce in chat rooms, don't you agree?

vampiregirl: No, no. Alice and Rosalie don't mind. What kind of bras, Emmett?

Masochisticvampire: Hahaha.

Bloodboy: This is suddenly getting quite interesting.

Muscleman: Um? Lacey ones.

Masochisticvampire: Ohh. That's...fun?

vampiregirl: That's interesing Emmett. Where are the buying these bras? I'm a stripper you know, I can never have enough.

Fang456: OH would you let the stripper thing GO PLEASE?!

vampiregirl: Nope.

Masochisticvampire: There's my Bella!

Muscleman: HOW DO I KNOW WHERE TO FIND BRAS?

Bloodboy: What, Rosalie doesn't share that information with you?

Muscleman: You know where Alice buys her...stuff?

Bloodboy: Of course!

Masochisticvampire: Duh. Even I know that.

Muscleman: Can we stop talking about bras?

vampiregirl: Bras, bras, bras, bras...

Greenstar has logged out.

vampiregirl: bras bras bras...

Fang456: I'm done.

Fang456 has logged out

Muscleman: I CAN'T TAKE IT!

Muscleman has logged out.

Masochisticvampire: Mission accomplished. Nice work Bella!

Bloodboy: Good job Bella!

vampiregirl: Now, if you'll excuse me... I'm going to go ask Carlise if he thinks my name makes me sound like a stripper...

**A/N: NO, I don't think Bella's name makes her sound like a stripper. I know I was probably going to get asked, so NO. Hehe. But it was kinda funny, admit it:p**

**Suggestions are welcome!**

**Please REVIEW!**

** 3**


	8. Game on

I still do not own Twilight. Why that would change between the last chapter and now, I have no idea, but I still do not, just to be clear. Enjoy!!

Emmett: ESME! You never took your dare!

Esme: What dare Emmett?

Emmett: THE DARE! Oh wow, we so need to play a game of truth or dare on here!

Alice: Excellent! I'll add everyone...

**Alice has added Jasper to the conversation**

**Alice has added Bella to the conversation**

**Alice has added Carlisle to the conversation**

**Alice has added Edward to the conversation**

**Alice has added Rosalie to the conversation**

Bella: You guys! Seriously this time, I'm studying!

Alice: Ooh, you won't want to miss this Bella.

Edward: Uh oh.

Rosalie: What now Emmett? Honestly... we live in the same house!

Carlisle: Hello my loving family... I am loving how...cheerful we all are...

Jasper: NOOO! PLEASE NOOOO! NOT THE CHATROOM AGAIN!

Bella: Yeah Emmett, last time we went there, they told me I was a stripper.

Edward: That was not an enjoyable expirience.

Bella: I mean, common, a STRIPPER?!

Alice: Bella, honey, it's okay. Nobody thinks your name sounds like a stripper.

Bella: The mean girl on the chatroom did.

Edward: Bella love, she was very mean and didn't know what she was talking about.

Carlisle: OKAY! What, pray tell, are we all doing here? Besides arguing.

Rosalie: Honestly...

Emmett: We...are playing TRUTH or DARE.

Edward: Oh no.

Esme: It's too late to object now, isn't it?

Alice: Yep!

Emmett: And since Esme didn't do her dare last time... I get to dare her first.

Esme: I PICKED TRUTH!

Carlisle: Okay! Esme can answer a truth question.

Emmett: Okay, okay. Hmm...

Rosalie: I've got it! If you could marry Tom Welling or Zac Effron, who would you pick?

Edward: What?

Jasper: HAHAHA.

Alice: Nice one!

Bella: I like it!

Rosalie: Oh, I know. They're both pretty good huh?

Esme: I'd have to say Zac.

Carlisle: What?! No way!

Emmett: NEW IDEA GUYS! All the girls have to say who they'd marry out of the two!

Edward: Ohh. Yeah. Whatever.

Jasper: Yeah... Um...

Bella: Oh! Easy! I'd totally go for Tom Welling!

Edward: WHAT?

Bella: Well... sorry Edward, you know I love you best, but he is absolutely the hottest out of the two.

Edward: AH!

Alice: Well, I agree with Bella.

Jasper: WHAT?!

Edward: I feel the pain too man.

Rosalie: Zac Effron, totally.

Bella: It's not like it matters. Bet none of them would go out with the stripper.

Alice: Bella! You're not a stripper!

Bella: But I sound like one!

Alice: NO YOU DO NOT.

Emmett: Okay, okay! Edward, truth or dare?

Edward: Truth.

Carlisle: I can see where this is going.

Emmett: You guys are no fun...

Edward: Sorry Emmett.

Bella: I have a question!

Edward: Okay, shoot.

Bella: Seriously now. Would you tell me if my name sounded like a stripper?

Alice: Aw, BELLA.

Rosalie: You could ask him anything and you asked him that?!

Bella: Sorry but...

Edward: YES. I would tell you. But NO it does NOT sound like a stripper.

Bella: ALRIGHT!

Edward: Okay. Carlisle, truth or dare?

Carlisle: Dare.

Emmett: WOOHOO!

Rosalie: Finally!

Alice: I have it! I dare you to call the hospital and tell them you can't go to work because you have to keep Rosalie and I company because we are PMSing. And we'll scream in the background!

Carlisle: Wow Alice. I think it's quite sad you could have thought that up so quickly.

Jasper: Okay guys, as entertaining as this is...

Bella: STAY!

Jasper: Okay...wow.

Edward: Nice Bella.

Alice: So Carlisle?

Bella: I want to see this!

Carlisle: Oh alright. We'll do it tonight when Bella comes over.

Bella: Yay!

Edward: Mmm... fun. Family bonding, don't you love it?

Carlisle: Oh, it's always an adventure.

Emmett: Oh my goodness guys! Okay, we totally need to play Would you Rather!

Jasper: Tell me, where does he come up with this stuff?

Emmett: Okay Jasper: WYR... eat a full pizza or...go on a date with Bella!

Bella: HEY! Why am I the "if I have to choice"???

Edward: Jasper. I'd be very careful about how you answer this.

Jasper: Sorry Edward. But I don't want to have to hack up pizza. I'll go with Bella.

Bella: Emmett! Is this because you think I'm a stripper!?

Jasper: Okay, on second thought...

Edward: Oh shut up Jasper!

Jasper: You!

Alice: SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU. Okay, Bella, you ask me one.

Bella: Oh. Okay. Would you rather... take me shopping and by me tons of stuff... or...let Edward buy me a new car and pay for Dartmouth?

Emmett: Bella! Those are both GOOD things!

Bella: They have to be bad?

Emmett: Well...no...but... UGH You guys don't know how to play anything.

Alice: I'd take you shopping, totally!

Emmett: Great. Now, my turn. Edward. Would you rather... Make Bella cry or get thrown in jail for five hundred years.

Edward: Uh... probably make Bella cry. You didn't say they couldn't be tears of joy!

Emmett: Oh wow. Okay, tears of PAIN.

Edward: Well then, jail.

Bella: AWW, Really?! That's so sweet!

Edward: Of course.

Bella: But then you wouldn't see me for fave hundred years. I'd cry more!

Edward: Nah, I'd break out.

Rosalie: Mmhmm. Okay, Esme! WYR have elephants trample the house and the garden... Or have to live back in Germany.

Esme: ELEPHANTS!

Edward: That was certainly fast.

Bella: What's wrong with Germany?

Edward: Long story. I'll tell you sometime.

Bella: Mmm. Okay, well I'm going to go finish studying.

Alice: Wait Bella! We have to ask you one!

Bella: Oh alright. Go ahead.

Edward: ME! OKAY. Umm... Would you rather... me buy you a car or... have to visit me in jail for a year?

Bella: Hmmm... Car, I guess. But I wouldn't be happy, and you might as well be in jail because I wouldn't talk to you for a while.

Edward: Huh. I somehow doubt that.

Bella: Well, good for you. Now, goodbye everyone! I'll see you later!

Rosalie: Bye Bella!  
Alice: Bye!

Emmett: Farewell!

Carlisle: Goobye!

Esme: Goodbye Dear.

Jasper: Bye!

Edward: Bye. I love you.

Bella: Love you too. See yah!

**Bella has logged off.**

**Edward has logged off.**

**Carlisle has logged off.**

**Esme has logged off.**

**Rosalie has logged off.**

**Alice has logged off.**

Emmett: So...Jasper. Tom Welling or Zac Effron?

**A/N: GO ME! Lol, two in one day! What sucks, is that I'll be starting school Tueday, so I won't have as much time on here, so sorry if updates are even slower than usual. For all my fics. I just know I'll get caught up on school work, so I'll be lucky to even get on weekends. I'll do my best...**

**REVIEW PLEASE! You don't know how much they help me! Well, if you write fics also, I guess you do... so more reason to please REVIEW!**

**Oh, and in response to a review I had regarding Emmett: I'm sorry if I was making him sound stupid. He really is one of my favourite characters too, I was just having a little fun... I didn't mean anything by it... I was just writing to be funny. I swear, he isn't as...'stupid' in my other stories. This is just intended to be a bit funny, just a break for me from all my other writing (not just fanfics).**

**Hope you enjoyed it!**


	9. Vampire Myths

**So, my plan to take over the world and own Twilight failed. So what? I still have… Umm… this story… so you know….Hah.**

**Yeah…. I don't own it. As we are all aware.**

Edward : Bella!?

Bella : Hey Edward…

Edward : Hi. How are you?

Bella : Okay.

Edward : That's good.

Bella : Hey, here's a question. Why don't you just come over, instead of using this thing?

Edward : Because I think Charlie is getting annoyed.

Bella : Huh. So? I'm eighteen. Maybe I should just move in with you…

Edward : I have absolutely no objections to that…

Bella : I know you don't.

Edward : Well… do you?

Bella : Well… I wouldn't be able to talk to you like this.

Edward : Oh, don't worry about that. It hasn't stopped Emmett?

Bella : That's true.

Edward : You don't know how much I wish you could live here Bella.

Bella : I believe I do. But be patient now Edward. We have tons of time, remember… once….

Edward : I know Bella. Speaking of which, you sent in your application, right?

Bella : Of course.

Edward : Okay, good. So what are you doing now?

Bella : I am studying.

Edward : Should I leave you alone?

Bella : NO!

Edward : Why? I'm just a distraction.

Bella : I don't have to study school work. How about I study… conversational skills of vampires?

Edward : Sounds like a good thing to study.

Bella : Hmm… I think it's my favourite subject. Besides vampire kissing skills that is.

Edward : Oh, haha.

Bella : What can I say? I'm in love with fictional creatures.

Edward : Hmm.

Bella : OOH! Edward, can we go into another chat room?

Edward : No way.

Bella : Common! It will be fun. And I won't even get upset if they call me a stripper again… Although that was pretty awful.

Edward : Why are you so eager all of a sudden? You didn't like it before…

Bella : Just trust me…

Edward : Nope, sorry love.

Bella : Edward, do you love me?

Edward : Not fair.

Bella : I'm pouting.

Edward : No! Not the pout Bella!

Bella :Tilting my head to the side….

Edward : Oh Bella…

Bella : Please? Please will you go into the chatroom with me? Please?

Edward : Oh, fine, okay Bella. You win.

Bella : YAY! Thank you!

Edward : Should I get Emmett?

Bella : Hmm… I'd like to see his reaction…okay.

Emmett has been added to the conversation 

Emmett : Ooh, we're going in another chat room?! We need new names, don't we?! OOH! I CALL MAKING THEM UP!

Edward : This is just asking for trouble.

Bella : But I liked being Vampiregirl.

Emmett : Fine. You can keep that one.

Edward : Can I have a better one?

Emmett : Sure. You're now Bubbles.

Edward : WHAT?!

Emmett : You didn't specify…

Edward : I'm not going into a chatroom under the name Bubbles.

Bella : Aww, common Edward, please please please please please?!

Edward : Okay, whatever.

Emmett : There you go! I knew you'd warm up to it.

Edward : But Emmett has to be Pebble.

Bella : Pebble? Where did THAT come from.

Emmett : You got it!

Edward : I don't know, I' just thought of the word.

Bella : I do not undertand the minds of men.

Edward : I do not understand your mind, so I think that's fair…

Emmett : Okay everyone! LOG IN!

**You have now entered the Vampire Myths chatroom.**

Bubbles : VAMPIRE MYTHS?! Bella!

Vampiregirl : What?! I like vampires.

Pebble : Whatever guys. So, who is all here.

Goodie2shoes : HI!

Boots : Hello!

2crazy4wrds : Hello there!

AnnaSinger : Hi!

Vampiregirl : Hello! So you guys all like vampires then?

Goodie2shoes : Oh yes. We've read tons about them!

2crazy4words : Yep! It's almost dorky… but it's so interesting! I mean… there are so many myths!

Boots : It'd be so cool to know a vampire, don't you think?

Vampiregirl : I think it'd be incredable.

Pebble : That'd be…. Something.

Bubbles : I'd love to know a vampire.

Vampiregirl : Know what would be even better? Dating a vampire!!!

Bubbles : I think that would be rather dangerous vampiregirl.

Boots : No, I agree with vampiregirl, I'd like to date a vampire… although the whole…sleeping in a coffin thing kind of creeps me out.

Pebble : Yeah… I think that'd be a lttle freaky.

Bubbles : Absoluetly. But it might be kind of…cozy you know….

Vampiregirl : How do you mean Bubbles?

Bubbles : Well… it's nice and warm in there…

Boots : Have you ever…like…. Been inside one?

Bubbles : Sort of.

Vampiregirl : NO WAY!!

2crazy4words : HAHAHA. That's amazing!

Goodie2shoes : Awesome!

Bubbles : Well… I have to go… sorry guys.

Vampiregirl : Me too. See you guys later!

Bubbles : Bye!

Vampiregirl : BYE!

Vampiregirl and Bubbles have logged off.

Bella : So Bubbles, that was fun, right?

Edward : That's one word for it.

Bella : A COFFIN? I need to see this! Can I go lay in one. Maybe I can jump up and scare you!

Edward : Hmm… Well, I don't really have an answer for that. It might be quite enjoyable.

Bella : How?

Edward : Well, I wouldn't let you go in alone. It's much too dark. And the lid might just….accidentally lock, and we'd be squished in there for a while, unable to move an inch.

Bella : As if you wouldn't be able to get me out of there.

Edward : Oh I could, if I wanted to.

Bella : Huh. You'd rather be in a stuffy coffin where we can't even budge than punch the lid open?

Edward : Meh. It was just a thought.

Bella : Orrrr, you could let me go in by myself.

Edward : And then lock you in. Hah. That actually sounds good too. Although I'd be much more motivated to yank the lid off that way.

Bella : There you go.

Edward : Well, anyways. I'm going to go.

Bella : No! Please don't? Please please please?

Edward : I'm going to be at your house in about three minutes Bella.

Bella : Well…. Okay. Bye for now then. I love you.

Edward : I love you too. And I'd punch out the lid of a coffin to prove it if you asked me to.

Bella : I know Edward. Bye.

Edward : I'll be right over…

A/N : So… hope you enjoyed it. Sorry for my lack of updates on any of my fanfics… school starting and everything… I don't have AS bad a work load as I might have expected, so I'll probably be able to update sometime before the weekend. Probably my other fanfic though. But please bear with me! I'm trying!!!

**ANY REQUESTS ARE ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS WELCOME! So please, let me know what you'd like to see. I consider everything. My next story is probably going to be a request that I liked from my reviews….**

**REVIEW, please!!!! You guys are AMAZING for reviewing, and I have gotten SO much feedback. It means a lot to me, so keep it coming guys! THANKS SO MUCH!**


	10. Bryan who?

Author's Note: Okay, so this one is for **geminiginny**, who requested another conversation with all the Cullens involved. I'm currenlty looking through all of my requests right now, so hang in there... who knows what will be next...:p Enjoy!

Emmett: Hey Bella!

Bella: Emmett!

Emmett: Excited to see me? Huh, what is this world coming to?!

Bella: Oh, haha. Fine, you want me to be... not excited?

Emmett: Nope, I like this. Hang on...

**Emmett has added Edward to the conversation**

Emmett: Edward! Bella's arrived!

Edward: Bella! Oh thank God... how was the drive?

Bella: It was fine. Got some reading done. Were you worried?

Edward: YES! You said you'd call once you got there.

Bella: Edward? I'm three hours away. It's not that bad.

Emmett: Besides, she's with Charlie and three of his police officer friends... what bad can happen?

Edward: We are discussing the same girl, right?

Bella: Oh Edward...

Edward: I'm sorry. So how is it down there?

Bella: Boring. There is this guy my age. Bryan. That's it. The rest of them are all under the age of seven.

**Alice has entered the conversation**

Edward: Byran, huh?

Alice: Bella! How is it going?!

Bella: Alright.

Emmett: We were discussing Byran?... This is a conversation I won't miss.

Alice: Who's this Bryan?

Bella: Oh, this guy Ben... well, his son. Friends of my Dad's.

Alice: Ohh... is he...

Bella: Well... yes.

Emmett: What?

Edward: What are you on about?

Alice: What does he...

Bella: Oh... dark brown hair, blue eyes.

Alice: Mmm...

Emmett: I'm SO getting Jasper in here!

**Emmett has added Jasper to the conversation**

Emmett: JASPER! Your wife is talking about a cute guy.

Jasper: Huh?

Bella: No she wasn't!

Edward: Bella was too. Didn't think fiances were supposed to...hit on other guys.

Alice: She didn't hit on him!

Bella: Edward!

Edward: Okay, okay, I'm sorry. But you said he was cute...

Bella: Is Rosalie attractive to you? Physically?

Emmett: I'd be very careful how I answer that man...

Edward: Well... you know...

Bella: Same deal.

Edward: Oh...fine. But girls who are getting married don't discuss these things. And married women certainly do not!

Alice: Oh, you want to bet?

**Alice has added Rosalie to the conversation**

Alice: Rose, chocolate brown hair and blue eyes.

Rosalie: Oh wow.

Bella: I know!

Emmett: Unbelievable.

Edward: Bella!

Jasper: Wow. And to think we always wondered what the girls did during their slumber parties.

Emmett: I still don't believe this... I need more proof!

Edward: Yeah, really. I mean, this is Alice and Bella we're talking about. They like to play around with us like this.

Rosalie: And what am I? Garbage?

Emmett: No, no. But you usually aren't in on their schemes.

Bella: We don't plot things! I can't believe you guys think that!

Rosalie: You want proof?

**Rosalie has added Esme to the conversation**

Rosalie: Brown hair, blue eyes.

Esme: Ooh, yummy. Where?

Bella: HAH!

Alice: Muahahahaha!

Edward: Oh, ew.

Emmett: I can't believe this! Esme!

Esme: WHAT? I'm allowed to have a taste in men...

**Edward has added Carlisle to the conversation**

Edward: Carlisle? Do you understand anything about the female mind?

Carlisle: Afraid not son...

Esme: What's his name?

Bella: Bryan.

Rosalie: Oh... that's kind of hot.

Alice: Kind of?

Bella: I know... and you know what?

Alice: What?

Bella: Today... he came up to me...and said...

Rosalie: WHAT?! He said what?!?!?!

Bella: Hi!

Alice: No way!

Esme: WOW.

Edward: Bella!

Bella: Oh, sorry Edward, I forgot you were here.

Emmett: Yeah, cause that makes it so much better...

Jasper: Alice! Bryan isn't a...hot name. Jasper is!

Alice: Oh, of course it is honey.

Jasper: Hmph.

Edward: That's it! I'm coming down there!

Carlisle: Now Edward, I'm sure Bella's perfectly capable of handling the situation.

Bella: Oh, and Alice, that isn't even the best part... He's got these amazing hands.

Alice: Oh, you can tell a lot from the hands.

Rosalie: Absolutely.

Esme: Spill!

Jasper: Unbelievable.

Emmett: I know!

Carlisle: I don't even want to be present for this conversation. Goodbye.

**Carlisle has left the conversation**

Esme: What do his feet look like?

Rosalie: Bet they're sexy...

Emmett: STOP! DEAR GOD STOP IT!

Bella: Oh, they're pretty.

Edward: STTTOOOOPPPPP!

Jasper: AHHHH!

Emmet has left the conversation

Edward has left the conversation

Jasper has left the conversation

Bella: Mission accomplished. Thanks for the help guys. That was kind of fun...

A/N: What did you think? REVIEW PLEASE!


	11. Wedding Planning

Author's Note: Okay, so this was a request from quite a while back from **Catrina Skylark**. Well, it was inspired by it... it might not be EXACTLY what you wanted, but I hope you like it anyways!

Alice: Hello Charlie. Are you busy?

Charlie: Oh hello Alice. No, it's been quiet here all day... but I may log off suddenly if something comes up.

Alice: Alright. I was just wondering if I could discuss some wedding plans with Edward, Bella, and you.

Charlie: I suppose thatould be alright.

**Edward has been added to the conversation**

**Bella has been added to the conversation**

Alice: Hey Bella! Hey Edward!

Charlie: Hello you guys.

Bella: Oh, hey Alice, hi Dad. What's going on?

Edward: Hello Charlie. Alice. Bella.

Alice: I wanted to discuss some wedding plans.

Bella: Oh, great...

Edward: Alice... why now? I'm kind of in the middle of something...

Alice: In the middle of what exactly? You were finished your homework when I left... And I just arrived at this cafe...

Bella: Aren't you picking me up in an hour for the fitting anyway?

Alice: Yes, but I need to speak to all of you.

Charlie: Alright guys, let's just get started here...

Edward: Should Carlisle not be present for this discussion.

Alice: He's working.

Edward: Alright then. So what is this about Alice?

Bella: efshfunvg

Charlie: What Bella?

Bella: Sorry Dad. I pressed the wrong keys.

Charlie: Right... whatever.

Alice: Anyways. Obviously, Charlie will be walking Bella down the aisle.

Bella: Of course. Can Carlisle walk down with me aswell? He is like a second father... and I don't want to leave him out...

Edward: I'm sure he'd love to accompany you down the aisle.

Charlie: Sounds great.

Alice: Okay. Bridesmaids?

Bella: Alice, Rosalie, Angela. And I was thinking of asking an old friend from Arizona.

Alice: Perfect. Best Man?

Edward: Emmett.

Alice: Perfect. So now we've got it all confirmed.

Edward: Great. Is that all?

Alice: Nope. I have exciting news! I haven't told anyone yet, I thought Bella would like to be the first to know.

Bella: Uh oh.

Bella: uhaznsngiugfdd

Charlie: Bella, what is going on over there?

Bella: I'm sorry Dad, Edward was tickling my feet.

Charlie: Bella! He's over there! I told you to study...

Bella: Oh... well, I did that.

Charlie: And why is he ticking you?

Edward: I'm sorry sir, I was just playing around.

Charlie: I think I'm going to come home before something...happens...over there.

Bella: DAD! He's my FIANCE. And he only tickled my feet.

Edward: Sir, I assure you... nothing like that will happen...

Alice: OKAY! Now that we have figured that out... NEWS.

Bella: OH, right.

Bella: Hang on...

Edward: hndfhsyunjndnusgjlknhnsu

Edward: Shoot, sorry. Bella got ahold of the computer... and then it fell...

Bella: Oops.

Alice: Okay, Edward. Keep your hands off Bella for three minutes, okay?

Edward: ALICE!

Charlie: AHEM.

Bella: OKAY! Everyone RELAX. He was TICKLING MY FEET.

Alice: Yes, I know Bella. NOW CAN I TELL MY GOOD NEWS?!?!?!?!?!??!

Charlie: Right, sorry Alice honey.

**Emmett has entered the conversation**

Bella: OH PLEASE DEAR GOD NO!

Emmett: That's my girl. How is my little stripper doing?

Bella: EMMETT!!!

Charlie: Excuse me?

Edward: Nothing Charlie, really it's just an inside joke.

Alice: Charlie, he's telling the truth, really.

Bella: Edward... WHY is Emmett so intent on scaring off my father? AND MY NAME DOES NOT SOUND LIKE A STRIPPER!

Edward: Bella, over my dead body will you be a stripper. And Emmett, shut up, Alice has good news that Charlie, Bella, and myself are anxious to hear.

Bella: Dead body! Hahahahaha.

Charlie: Bella, there is nothing funny about death.

Alice: It's another inside joke.

Charlie: About death?

Alice: Bella was sleep deprived. ANYWAY. THE NEWS.

Emmett: Wait. What are we discussing?

Bella: Oh, the wedding. You're the best man you know!

Emmett: Awww! REALLY? That's Edward!

Edward: Of course. How can you be surprised?

Emmett: Well I guess after Jasper took a snap at Bella...

Charlie: What on earth does that mean.

Bella: Inside joke...again. Ha-ha guys, really funny.

Charlie: Yeah... okay, come on, I've got to get back to work.

Alice: OKAY. Well, after all this, it seems silly.

Bella: REALLY ALICE. What is it?

Alice: Well, I got freesia for the flowers at the wedding.

Emmett: THAT was your news?

Bella: Oh shut up Emmett, thank you Alice!

Alice: You're welcome! I know you'd be pleased!

Bella: Okay, you're picking me up now, right?

Alice: Sure thing. I'll be right there.

Edward: Can I come?

Alice: NO! You can't see the dress!!!

Bella: He's seen it anyway... in your mind.

Charlie: Oh, let me guess another inside joke?

Bella: Um. Yeah Dad. Sorry...

Charlie: Okay. Well, have fun girls.

Bella: Bye Dad!

**Charlie has logged off**

Edward: Bella and I are gone. See you in a few Alice.

**Edward has logged off**

Bella: My name doesn't sound like a stripper, does it Alice?

Alice: For the thousanth time: NO IT DOES NOT. Now, go on. I'll be there soon.

**Bella has logged off**

Emmett: See you tonight!

**Emmett has logged off**

**Alice has logged off.**

**Author's note: So, maybe not one of the best... but I hope I made you giggle even just a little bit...**

**Once again, thank you SO much for reviews. I can't even explain how much they mean to me, and I wish I had time to respond to you all personally. But THANK YOU! And also THANK YOU for all the adds to "favourite author" and "favourite stories" and such lists. It really surprises me each time... It means a lot!**

**Requests are ALWAYS welcome and ALWAYS considered... So stay tuned for a few of those in the coming chappies. And also, do not worry, we will hear more about Bryan;) Evil laugh**

**Now, off to bed... I'm up late once again. Bad girl! Hehe. Until next time...**


	12. Bryan Strikes Again

Alice: Hey Bella, you up for a road trip?

Bella: Not really. I'm kind of tired from last night.

Emmett has entered the conversation 

Emmett: Bella! We're going to the amusement park! Come on!

Bella: I'd really rather stay here guys. Thanks anyway.

Alice: Humm… I guess I could come over and discuss wedding plans with you.

Bella: Nah, I'm good Alice.

Alice: If you say so.

Emmett: Wait! You don't want anyone to come over… and you won't come with us. It's that Bryan guy, isn't it?!

Bella: WHAT?

Alice: HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Bella: Oh… yes, because I'm just dying to cheat on Edward with a guy I've barely said five words to…

Alice: Oh. My. God.

Alice has added Edward to the conversation 

Emmett: EDWARD! Bella is cheating on you!

Bella: WHAT? No I'm not!

Edward: And what makes you believe this?

Alice: Apparently, Emmett is convinced Bryan is over there.

Esme has entered the conversation 

Edward: Sexy feet Byran you mean?

Bella: Yes.

Emmett: HAH! You admit it!

Esme: What is going on in here?

Alice: Emmett thinks Bella's cheating on Edward with sexy feet.

Esme: Oh… OH. The hot one?

Alice: The gorgeous one!

Esme: Hmm.

Bella: I do not admit anything… I was simply referring to the fact that he was thinking of the same Bryan you were.

Emmett: I don't get it.

Bella: Don't worry. There is NOTHING to get. Bryan is in Seattle, where he lives.

Edward: You know where he lives?!

Alice: No Bella, he lives in Cleveland!

Bella: No… how would Charlie know someone in Cleveland?!

Alice: We agreed on CLEVELAND!

Alice has added Rosalie to the conversation 

Alice: Rosalie, where did we decide Bryan lives?

Rosalie: Detroit.

Bella: He lives in Seattle!

Alice: It's Cleveland!

Esme: Wait… I thought he was Bella's neighbour!

Alice: NO. We just stole his name….

Esme: Is her neighbour actually cute though?

Rosalie: Her neighbour is ten years old!

Esme: Oh. Right.

Edward: WAIT. Explain?

Alice: Oh crap, I forgot about the boys.

Emmett: Bryan lives in four different places? How?

Bella: Bryan lives in…no places.

Emmett: WOAH. How?

Alice: He isn't real!

Edward: Yeah he is. I thought he had sexy feet…

Bella: See? You have to admit, the feet were genius….

Edward: YOU came up with that?

Bella: Of course!

Edward: Huh. Smart girl.

Bella: And strippers can't be smart! So I'm not a stripper! YES!

Alice: Who says strippers can't be smart?

Esme: They probably are very smart.

Rosalie: Seriously, what a stereotype.

Bella: But if strippers are smart… EDWARD!

Edward: Thanks guys.

Bella: TAKE IT BACK! I'm not a stripper!

Edward: Bella, I didn't say you were. I said you were SMART.

Bella: Tell me I'm stupid then!

Edward: No!

Bella: EDWARD! Tell me I'm not smart!

Edward: We aren't even talking about your issues with strippers. We were discussion Bryan.

Bella: Sexy feet Bryan doesn't exist, so why would we talk about him?

Edward: To find out why on earth you girls made him up….

Emmett: Yeah! Explain Rose!

Rosalie: OH, we were just messing around. We wanted to see how long you guys would put up with it…

Emmett: Well, I have news for you guys. I'm NOT leaving this time… no matter what you do….

Bella: Rosalie… you know what's the best thing about Bryan?

Emmett: Oh… NO, you can't…

Rosalie: What is that Bella?

Bella: Well, you see, when he talks, he runs his fingers through his hair really slowly and it's really sexy….

Rosalie: Tell me more.

Edward: THAT'S ENOUGH! Now, who's coming to the amusement park…

Bella: Do I have a choice? I'll be accused of cheating on you if I don't.

Emmett: True. But I can't leave this chat room before everyone else…

Alice: Ooh, that ain't happening. I'm not leaving till Emmett leaves.

Edward: Ugh!

Bella: Oh, that's not an issue…

Edward: It's not?

Bella: Nope…

Alice: Okay, so we'll meet at the amusement park at two…

Rosalie: Okay. Now we need to scare Emmett off….

Alice: Bella's got it covered….

Bella: Bras, bras, bras, bras…..

Emmett: AHHHH!

**Emmett has logged off.**

Edward: Brilliant. See you.

**Edward has logged off.**

Bella: Amen.

Alice: good going!

Esme: See you girls….

Rosalie: Bye!

**Bella has logged off**

**Alice has logged off**

**Esme has logged off**

**Author's Note: So, I finally updated! Aren't you all proud??? Haha.**

**Anyway, I hope you all loved it… I had some fun writing it… Ahh, I love Emmett!**

**And while I'm writing this, I hate sounding like I'm advertising this or anything, but please go and read Summer Vacation Cullen Style… it's my other…funny-type fic, that I really do have fun writing. So check it out!!!**

**As always: REVIEW! And PLEASE send me some REQUESTS! I love them, and I ALWAYS consider them!**


	13. The boys strike back

**Author's Note : Okay! So this one is for **_**alexlovesgerard93**_**, who made an excellent suggestion, which I LOVED. The boys haven't had a chance to have their fun yet… Anyway, I hope it lives up to your expectations!**

**Noppers, don't own it.**

**Edward :** Jasper!

**Jasper : **Oh NO. Not you too. First Emmett keeps Iming me, now you're going to do it aswell…

**Edward :** No Jasper. Listen. Carlisle can't hear this or else he'll stop us. But we need to get back at the girls.

Jasper : Oh. I like this. Rosalie and Alice are at Bella's house, right?

**Edward :** Yeah, but they are on their way back now. Bella and Alice will probably be using the laptop downstairs to look up fabrics for the wedding and Rosalie and Esme will be close by. If we're REALLY lucky….

**Jasper :** They'll all be using laptops.

**Edward :** Exactly!

**Jasper :** I like it. But what are we making up exactly?

**Edward :** We are going to make them all really jealous.

**Jasper :** Hmm… good plan. But again, HOW?

**Edward :** We are going to make someone up.

**Jasper :** Ooh! What should her name be?

**Edward :** Um. I don't know.

**Jasper has added Emmett to the conversation**

**Jasper :** Emmett, we're pranking the girls into thinking we met a really attractive woman, what should her name be?

**Emmett :** Ummm… how about Sally?

**Edward :** Sure. Whatever.

**Jasper :** Okay. Now… time to attack. They have all logged online. I can hear them talking downstairs.

**Jasper has added Bella to the conversation**

**Jasper has added Roaslie to the conversation**

**Jasper has added Alice to the conversation**

**Jasper has added Esme to the conversation**

**Edward : **Hello there.

**Bella :** Edward! Are you here?

**Edward :** Yep, I'm just upstairs.

**Alice :** Bella, NO. You're staying down here. You can go see Edward after.

**Edward :** Haha. I'll be here love. Actually, I just got back from the mall with Jasper and Emmett.

**Jasper :** Yes. That was a fun shopping trip.

**Esme :** Um. You hate shopping.

**Emmett :** No we don't.

**Rosalie :** Yes you do! You said so just last night.

**Emmett :** I lied.

**Roaslie :** Okaaay then. Anyway, what did you buy?

**Jasper :** Well… I bought a shirt.

**Alice :** You did? You'd think I would have seen that. Come to think of it, I saw nothing of you at a mall.

**Edward :** Anyway we were at the mall. And this lady randomly comes up to me and askes me out.

**Bella :** WHAT?!

**Esme :** WHAT?!?!?!

**Rosalie :** HAHAHAHAHA.

**Alice :** See, I didn't see that at all either. I doubt it.

**Edward : **Shut up Alice. She did!

**Bella :** Oh, she did? And what did you say?

**Emmett :** Well, he didn't exactly respond quickly.

**Jasper :** She was… really….

**Edward :** Attractive….

**Emmett :** She was so sexy!

**Bella :** WHAT? Hey! Um, HI! I'm RIGHT HERE.

**Alice :** Guys!

**Edward :** Oh, I only went for coffee with her.

**Bella :** Edward! Oh my GOD.

**Jasper :** Yes, Sally was a sweet girl…

**Roslie :** Oh my GOD. You mean Sally from the bookstore.

**Edward :** Uh… yes.

**Alice :** Oh, we are going to KILL her. We were just there yesterday… she knows you are engaged. What a-

**Bella :** Oh. My. GOD.

**Edward :** Sorry Bella. I didn't know it would bother you, love.

**Jasper :** She was really…em… hot.

**Alice :** HOT? Jasper, you never say HOT.

**Esme :** Really. Wow. Edward, I'm ashamed of you.

**Bella :** And what did this Sally look like.

**Edward :** Brown hair, brown eyes.

**Emmett :** Blonde hair, brown eyes.

**Jasper :** Black hair, brown eyes.

**Rosalie :** What?!

**Edward :** It's brown hair guys!

**Jasper :** Nope. Sally. It just sounds like she has black hair.

**Bella :** Is anyone else concerned with the fact that SALLY has RED hair.

**Alice :** BUSTED.

**Bella :** Nice try boys.

**Emmett :** Crap!

**Jasper :** SO close.

**Emmett :** We will get you yet!

**Alice :** So what did you guys REALLY do today?

**Bella :** Besides pretend to cheat on me.

**Edward :** Ummm…

**Emmett :** We watched Spiderman! Spiderman, spiderman, does whatever a spider can….

**Bella :** NOT THAT SONGGGG!

**Alice :** IT HURTS!!!!!

**Rosalie :** Bella's neighbour Bryan was blasting it from his room. It was quite irritating. Alice and Bella went nuts….

**Emmett :** Spins a web… any size. Cathes theives….just like flies….

**Jasper :** LOOK OUT!

**Edward :** Here comes the spiderman!

**Bella :** NO!!!!!!!!!!

**Alice :** SAVE MEEEEE!

**Bella has left the conversation**

**Alice has left the conversation**

**Rosalie :** Idiots.

**Rosalie has left the conversation**

**Esme has left the conversation**

**Edward :** Nice work boys.

**Emmett :** Yes!

**Jasper :** Nice thinking on the Spiderman thing Emmett. But what did you two really do today?

**Edward :** Ummm… Well….

**Jasper :** You actually watched Spiderman?

**Emmett :** Cha!

**Edward :** Haha. Um. Maybe?

**Jasper :** Okaayyyy….

Jasper has left the conversation Author's Note : So? What did you think? 

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Oh, and also… I do have an account on fictionpress and if any of you wanted to read some of my more serious writing, I'd love you forever. I have annonymous reviews enabled there too, so even if you don't have an account there, you can leave a review. It's currently all poetry, and not much of it, but if you'd like… you could read it.**

**My pen name is exactly the same on there as it is on here ******

**Thanks, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	14. A Family Affair

**Author's Note: Hello everyone! Miss me? HAHA, I'm sorry sorry sorry I haven't posted in what seems like forever. I've been working on my own novel... fanfiction is what I do on the side... But I wrote you another conversation from the Cullen household... add in some Renee and Charlie, and you're golden. This was actually a request from **_**alexlovesgerard93**_** (you have some awesome ideas... lol!) who wanted a conversation with the parents and Emmett. I did add in some more people, just to spice it up... Make sure to read the A/N at the bottom, because I have an idea to run by you all, after you read this... Enjoy! I promise I'll try to update sooner this time... Although there are so many amazing fics out there, this one isn't as great as many, so go check those out!!!**

Esme: Hello Renee.

Renee: Oh. Hello there Esme.

Esme: How are you doing?

Renee: I'm doing pretty well, and yourself?

Esme: Oh, I'm fine... the kids are wild, as always... :)

Renee: Haha. I can only imagine. Bella was always a quiet child.

Esme: I can imagine. She's a very sweet girl.

Renee: Thank you.

Esme: It's only the truth. I did need to ask you a question though.

Renee: Oh, sure thing. What do you need?

Esme: Alice and Bella are planning out the wedding, and I am supposed to make sure you're able to fly in next week to help find the dress. And we need to discuss living arrangements for your visit.

Renee: Arlight. So, yes, I'll be flying in Monday. And I'm sure I can sleep at Charlie's...

**Charlie has entered the conversation**

Esme: Oh! Hello there Charlie!

Renee: Hi.

Charlie: Hello Renee. Hello Esme. I just wanted to ask Esme a quick question.

Esme: Shoot.

Charlie: Well, actually, I just wondered if you knew where Carlisle was. I need to discuss something with him.

Esme: Oh, he's actually right here...

**Esme has added Carlisle to the conversation**

Charlie: Oh, thank you Esme. Carlisle, I was wondering about walking Bella down the aisle. Has Alice said anything about the tuxes? She said she wanted to take care of that, and I was just wondering...

Carlisle: Hm... I don't believe she has said anything, actually Charlie.

Renee: Oh, since you're here Charlie, I meant to ask you if I could sleep at your house while I'm over there. Just for maybe three or four nights, until Phil comes down, then we can get a hotel.

Charlie: Sure Renee.

**Emmett has entered the conversation**

Emmett: Carlisle? Wanna play chess?

Carlisle: Emmett, I'm busy, can it wait?

Emmett: No... I'm so bored!

Carlisle: So get Edward to play.

Esme: Yes Emmett, go find Edward.

Emmett: But he's no fun... he... just knows my next move. It's as if... he can read minds...

Renee: Maybe that's the challange.

Charlie: You know, I've always found that Edward is quite talented at reading people. It is almost as if he can read minds.

Esme: Hahaha. He is very good at reading people, isn't he?

Emmett: Anyway. I need someone to play chess with.

Carlisle: So play Bella.

Charlie: Bella is out shopping with Alice, isn't she?

Carlisle: Oh, right. Well then... how about Rosalie?

Emmett: Aww, she's no fun with chess.

Esme: Emmett, you're just saying that because you can't beat her.

Carlisle: Fine. So you won't play chess with Bella, Rosalie, Edward or Alice. How about Jasper?

Emmett: Aww, he just messes with me...

Renee: How so Emmett?

Emmett: I don't know. It's as if he can just...feel my next move.

Carlisle: Oh, don't be ridiculous Emmett. Mind readers and now people who feel your emotions...

Esme: You'd swear we lived in a mad house.

Emmett: Oh, you know what I mean.

Carlisle: Well, Alice and Bella should be back pretty soon.

**Edward has entered the conversation**

Edward: Emmett, are we playing chess, or not?

Carlisle: Hello Edward.

Esme: Hi.

Renee: Hello.

Charlie: Hi Edward.

Edward: Hello Charlie, Renee, Esme and Carlisle.

Emmett: Hey Edward. I told you, I'm not playing chess with you. You cheat.

Edward: Emmett, how can anyone cheat at chess?

Emmett: I'll tell you how... it's almost as if you can read minds.

Edward: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Read minds? What, you think I hear voices in my head?

Charlie: You guys sure have an awful lot of inside jokes huh?

Esme: You don't know half of it.

Emmett: I want Bella to come home!

Edward: Yeah, um, why?

Emmett: She's no good at chess?

Charlie: I'll have to agree with that fact...

Renee: She always beats me!

Edward: I think she beat me once...

Carlisle: Ahh, the mind reader goes down...

Emmett: Lucky girl... she can beat you...

**Bella has entered the conversation**

Emmett: Speak of the devil...

Edward: Hi Bella.

Renee: Hey honey.

Charlie: Hi Bells

Carlisle: Hello Bella.

Esme: Hi Bella.

Bella: Oh... hi everyone. I was just logging in to tell Edward I was home. I tried calling, your cell phone is dead I think.

Edward: Yeah, sorry Bella. I'm charging it now.

Bella: So, I'm assuming you were talking about me...

Charlie: We were talking about chess...

Bella: Oh yeah! Remember that time I beat you Edward?

Edward: Yes... you were very good...

Emmett: Bella! Will you play chess with me?!

Bella: Um... why? You could play with Edward, he's loads better than me...

Emmett: I like playing against you better.

Edward: Oh... why don't we play on teams... Bella and I will be a team...

Emmett: Fine. I get Alice.

**Alice has entered the conversation**

Alice: Hi everyone!

Edward: Ahh, Alice. I'm afraid you have been placed on a team with Emmett for chess.

Alice: Oh... You're going down.

Renee: Haha, sounds like fun guys...

Charlie: I don't even want to know...

Carlisle: We should have a tournament. That would cure Emmett's boredom.

**Rosalie has entered the conversation**

Carlisle: Hello Rose. How did this turn into a whole family affair again?

Rosalie: Hi everyone! I was just looking for Emmett...

Emmett: Hi Rosalie! We're having a chess tournament...

Rosalie: Uh, not with any of the girls you're not...

Alice: OHHHH.

Bella: What? Why?

Rosalie: Because... we're having a party!

Bella: A party? But why can't the boys come?

Rosalie: Because it's a slumber party...

Alice: I like.

Renee: Sounds like fun girls... I have to take off now. See you all Monday!

Bella: Bye Mom!

Rosalie: Bye!

Alice: Bye Renee.

Edward: Goodbye.

Carlisle: Have a safe flight.

Esme: Take care.

Charlie: See you.

Emmett: Bye Renee!

**Renee has left the conversation**

Rosalie: So, I'm coming to pick you up Bella! Carlisle, get the boys out of the house.

Carlisle: I'll do my best.

Emmett: I am not loggin out!

Bella: I got this guys. BRAS BRAS BRAS BRAS...

Emmett: Ohh, that won't work.

Edward: Nice try Bella... it's going to take more to get us out...

Charlie: This is weird. See you later guys.

**Charlie has left the conversation**

Bella: Fine.

Alice: HAHAHA. Love it Bella.

Bella: I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves... Everybody's nerves... Everybody's nerves...

Alice: I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves...

Rosalie: And this is how it goes!!!

Esme: Good luck boys.

Carlisle: Yep... see how long you last...

**Esme has left the conversation**

**Carlisle has left the conversation**

Bella: I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves... Everybody's nerves... Everybody's nerves...

Alice: I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves...

Rosalie: And this is how it goes!!!

Emmett: STOP!

Bella: I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves... Everybody's nerves... Everybody's nerves...

Alice: I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves...

Rosalie: And this is how it goes!!!

Bella: I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves... Everybody's nerves... Everybody's nerves...

Alice: I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves...

Rosalie: And this is how it goes!!!

Emmett: STOPPPP THE MADNESSSSSS!!!!!

**Emmett has left the conversation**

Rosalie: Nicely done Ladies...

Edward: Right, well can I see Bella before this... party?

Alice: Nope. You can see her tomorrow. When she's completely sleep deprived.

Edward: No fair!

Bella: But I want to see Edward!  
Rosalie: Too bad. I'm coming to get you. Don't try anything funny.

Edward: Fine. Bye Bella. Miss you.

**Edward has left the conversation**

Bella: Oh fine. I'll be waiting.

**Bella has left the conversation**

**Rosalie has left the conversation**

**Alice has left the conversation**

**Author's Note #2: So, hope you enjoyed this!!! Please review!!!**

**Also: I'm thinking next chapter will be told in the form of text messages... What do you guys think??? It would probably be the boys trying to listen in/spy on the girls slumber party... Tell me if you want me to write it! I think it could be funny.**


	15. Slumber Party Attacks

_**Author's note: Okay, so I am going to attempt this. It will be a bunch of different conversations going on at once. Remember, the boys are attempting to sneak into/spy on the girls… And the girls, have Alice on their side, know what they're up to and are playing trick on them too… I may add in a few walkie talkie conversations too… Enjoy!!**_

**Text message sent at 5:01pm**

**From: Emmett**

**To: Edward**

Edward! We need to get code names… The girl's slumber party begins in 29 minutes, and counting!

**Text message sent at: 5:03pm**

**From: Edward**

**To: Emmett, Jasper**

Why do we need code names Emmett?

**Text message sent at: 5:07pm**

**From: Jasper**

**To: Edward, Emmett**

If it makes him happy, just make up some pen names….

**Text message sent at: 5:12pm**

**From: Emmett**

**To: Jasper, Edward**

YAY!!!

Okay. So.

Me BigStrongDude

Jasper CrazyEmo

Edward Obsessed

**Text message sent at: 5:14pm**

**From: Edward**

**To: Jasper, Emmett**

WHY am I "Obsessed" again?

**Text message sent at: 5:18pm**

**From: Jasper**

**To: Edward, Emmett**

Don't complain. I'm CrazyEmo.

**Text message sent at: 5:25pm**

**From: Emmett**

**To: Edward, Jasper**

Fine then. Since you are not being co-operative, your name is now back to Bubbles.

**Text message sent at: 5:26pm**

**From: Jasper**

**To: Emmett, Edward**

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**Text message sent at: 5:30pm**

**From: Edward**

**To: Emmett, Jasper.**

First: NO WAY.

Second: Enough of this guys. The girls have just arrived. They are in Alice's room. Alice knows what we're up to.

**Text message sent at: 5:35pm**

**From: Jasper**

**To: Edward, Emmett**

Roger that Bubbles.

Everyone have their walkie talkies?

"Roger that Crazy Emo."

"Bubbles? Come in Bubbles!"

"Bubbles accounted for. Where is BSD?"

"BSD here!"

"Okay. So, Bubbles, you go in for the kill. Straight through the door. BSD, you go through the window. And I'll make a phone call attack. All three girls must be busy."

**Text message sent at: 5:43pm**

**From: Alice**

**To: Bella, Rosalie**

Okay girls… They'll all know if I tell you what to do out loud, so text messaging for important stuff. Okay? What we are going to do it act normal… Pretend we have NO idea….

**Text message sent at: 5:46pm**

**From: Bella**

**To: Alice, Rosalie**

Alright. What are they planning?

Text message sent at: 5:48pm

From: Alice

To: Bella, Rosalie

Edward is coming from the door. Bella will have to handle that one.

Emmett from the window. That one will be me… He won't listen if Rosalie tells him off….

And Jasper is going to call my cell… Rose, pick up, and do what you can.

**Text message sent at:5:52pm**

**From: Rosalie**

**To: Bella, Alice**

Sounds good girls! Let's do it!

"BELLA! OPEN THIS DOOR!"

"No way Edward! You're going to have to knock it down."

"I will…"

"No you won't."

"Do you want to bet?"

"Yes."

"Bella, you couldn't stop me."

"Yes I could."

"How?"

"Well, right now, I am sitting up against the door. You break it down, what's going to happen to me?"

"You smart girl..."

"Alice, I'm not joking, LET ME IN THIS WINDOW!"

"Nope. You try to get in Emmett, you'll be sorry."

"I want to see Rosalie."

"No way."

"Why not?"

"Because she's busy talking to my husband on the phone. You break this window Emmett, I swear, I will make it so she doesn't talk to you ever again."

"Women are evil beings."

"I know. It's a gift."

"I know you want to see Alice, Jasper, but you can't"

"Okay, but can I just talk to her on the phone."

"Nope."

"Why not?!"

"Because…. It's a SLUMBER party."

"But vampires don't….um…. slumber."

"Yeah. But the intent is there. Slumber parties are for girls only."

"So if we were girls, you'd let us in?"

"Don't even think about dressing up like a girl Jasper!"

"Rosalie…. PLEASE?"

"No. Bye Jasper!"

**Text message sent at: 6:13pm**

**From: Bella**

**To: Alice, Rosalie**

Haha, we conquer all!!!

**Text message sent at: 6:12pm**

**From: Edward**

**To: Emmett, Jasper.**

Plan failed. Let's regroup.

**Text message sent at: 6:15pm**

**From: Bella**

**To: Edward, Jasper, Emmett**

Give up boys. We will win.

**Text message sent at: 6:16pm**

**From: Edward**

**To: Bella, Rosalie, Alice**

That's what you think.

**Text message sent at: 7:25pm**

**From: Jasper**

**To: Edward, Emmett**

Okay boys. The girls have put in a scary movie. Bella has screamed several times. We all know her weakness is Edward when she's scared. So. Edward: Call her. Talk her up. Emmett: you are going to hack onto Alice's computer and send Rosalie and Bella a message saying that you want to surrender. As for me, I will call Alice to distract her.

"Hello?"

"Hi Bella!"

"Edward… what is it?"

"I heard you screaming. Everything okay?"

"Yes, we're watching a movie."

"Huh. Want me to come in a protect you from the scary monsters?"

"Nice try."

"Hello?"

"Oh… Hi Bella… why are you answering Alice's phone?"

"Because I just got off the phone with Edward. We know what you're doing. Have a lovely evening Jasper."

**Text message sent at: 8:00pm**

**From: Emmett**

**To: Edward, Jasper**

I can't hack into that computer! Bubbles, progress report?

**Text message sent at: 8:07pm**

**From: Edward**

**To: Emmett, Jasper**

Failed.

**Text message sent at: 8:16pm**

**From: Jasper**

**To: Emmett, Edward**

Any new plans boys? Bubbles, I have yet to hear from you.

**Text message sent at: 8:27pm**

**From: Edward**

**To: Jasper, Emmett**

Let's knock off the door!

**Text message sent at: 8:38pm**

**From: Alice**

**To: Bella, Rosalie.**

We are going out the window girls. Leave the movie on. We're going to Bella's. Charlie is out.

"Ohhh girls! We're going to knock down this door!"

"Yes. Bella, if you know what's good for you, you will move from the door."

"Ready?"

….

"Are you guys even in there!?"

"I can't hear anyone… but the movie is still on!"

"We lost them!"

"Ahhhh!"

**Text message sent at: 9:58pm**

**From: Alice**

**To: Edward, Jasper, Emmett**

Boys… We have hostage….

**Text message sent at: 10:02pm**

**From: Edward**

**To: Alice, Rosalie, Bella**

What did you do?

**Text message sent at: 10:23pm**

**From: Rosalie**

**To: Edward, Emmett, Jasper**

Ohh nothing.

We just might have taken your entire collection of CDs…. By the way, Bella loves your Brittany Spears one…

**Text message sent at: 10:31pm**

**From: Edward**

**To: Rosalie, Alice, Bella**

GIVE THOSE BACK!  
And I'll have you know Bella, ROSE bought that for me as a joke. Text message sent at: 10:46pm 

**From: Bella**

**To: Edward, Jasper, Emmett**

Oh that's a lie…. Rosalie and Alice both told me you had a brief obsession with her.

"Oops, I did it again! I played with your heart…."

**Text message sent at: 10:52pm**

**From: Jasper**

**To: Alice, Rosalie, Bella**

Open the door! NOW!

**Text message sent at: 10:56pm**

**From: Rosalie**

**To: Edward, Emmett, Jasper**

Nope! And don't try the windows either. We have it all covered…

**Text message sent at: 11:14pm**

**From: Jasper**

**To: Alice, Bella, Rosalie**

Okay. Enough is enough. We want in your party!

**Text message sent at: 11:34pm**

**From: Bella**

**To: Jasper, Edward, Emmett**

Not going to happen boys.

Sorry.

But we love you.

**Text message sent at: 11:49pm**

**From: Edward**

**To: Bella, Alice, Rosalie**

STOP PLAYING MY BRITTANY SPEARS CD FULL BLAST.

**Text message sent at: 12:04am**

**From: Alice**

**To: Edward, Emmett, Jasper**

Are you really going to throw Bella's happiness out the window like that? She might cry now.

**Text message sent at: 2:02am**

**From: Edward**

**To: Alice, Bella, Rosalie**

Okay! Enough is enough! This is your last chance to let us in!

**Text message sent at: 2:22am**

**From: Alice**

**To: Edward, Jasper, Emmett**

Or what?

**Text message sent at: 2:34am**

**From: Edward**

**To: Alice, Rosalie, Bella**

Or… we'll be forced to take evasive action.

**Text message sent at: 2:49am**

**From: Alice**

**To: Edward, Emmett, Jasper**

Ooh, I'm SO scared….

**Text message sent at: 3:00am**

**From: Edward**

**To: Jasper, Emmett.**

Crash down the door boys! Bella is asleep. She is far from the door!

"AHHHH!!!!"

"Boys! What do you think you're doing!? Did you just break down the door?!"

"Charlie?!"

"Oh my…. YOU DID. HOW ON EARTH DID YOU…."

"RUN!"

_**So hopefully that was okay guys… Whew, that took a long time… Anyway, it wasn't the best, but hopefully it made you giggle.**_

_**Back to regular format next time, I think…**_

_**Anyway, let me know what you think! I tried to make it simple, so sorry if it was a little confusing. **__****_

_**That was a good 10 pages :p **_


	16. Faker!

**Author's Note: Okay. The much anticipated NEXT CHAPTER in the IM chronicals... Hopefully you all forgive me for taking so long. I treid to make this one good. I honestly have NO more ideas right now, so REVIEW and REQUEST some scenerios. I'm open to anything! Really! And now... here comes the sad part... The part I'm totally going to get yelled at for...**

**I think these IM conversations might start to come to an end. Unless I get LOTS of requests... I'm running out of ideas, and I don't want to over-do it, you know? Anyway. I'll probably still do a few more... but that's just what I'm thinking...**

**Runs and ducks for cover from the flying tomatoes being thrown**

Bella: Hey Edward.

Edward: Hi love. How are you today? I'm sorry it's sunny out, we can't come to school today.

Bella: Actually, neither can I. I'm sick. And now Charlie is insisting he stay home from work to take care of me...

Edward: Ohh... I'm guessing I can't come over then...

Bella: Nope. Sorry.

Edward: Well... what's wrong.

Bella: Nothing I'm just... sick.

Edward: Bella... you're not...faking?

Bella: What? Of course not!

_Alice has entered the conversation_

Bella: ALICE?!

Alice: Hey you...faker.

Bella: I'm not faking! I'm under the weather!

Alice: Sure sure, all that rain... dramatic climat changes there...

_Alice has added Emmett to the conversation_

Alice: Emmett! You'd be so proud! Bella is FAKING SICK!

Emmett: NO way! Way to go Bella!

Edward: Guys? Is it even possible to have a PRIVITE conversation anymore?

Alice: Nope!

_Alice has added Rosalie to the conversation_

_Alice has added Jasper to the conversation_

_Alice has added Carlisle to the conversation_

_Alice has added Esme to the conversation_

Edward: Oh good. That's everyone.

Bella: And when I'm clearly sick!

Esme: Oh Bella honey, you're sick! Oh dear... Wait! I'm coming to get you right away-

Bella: Charlie is home with me. Thank you Esme.

Emmett: She's not even sick.

Rosalie: She's FAKING! No way! Not Bella!

Bella: SEE? Someone believes me!

Alice: Faker!

Carlisle: Well, maybe I should come and check on you Bella...

Edward: Not nessesary Carlisle. She's faking. I'm telling you.

Bella: I'm NOT faking! But it's just a cold Carlisle...

Jasper: WHY are we always conversing on the computer?

Alice: Oh Jasper. Relax.Once Bella's a vampire...

Edward: ALICE!

Esme: Now now... Bella is sick. Let's not be obnoxious.

Edward: Gladly... but she isn't sick.

Rosalie: Actually... he's getting kind of convincing.

Emmett: SEE? Ohhh, you're a bad faker Bella. Bad bad bad...

Edward: Leave her alone! Even if she is a faker...

Bella: You know what? I think I'm going to log off and go lay down and REST so I can get better.

Emmett: Noooo!

Rosalie: WHAT Emmett?

Carlisle: I don't want to know.

Emmett: You know what fights off sunny-day (and fake-sick) day boredom?

Bella: I don't know Emmett, what?

Emmett: WOULD YOU RATHER!!

Jasper: Oh no! Remember last time?!

Alice: Ohhhh NO.

Edward: I will not subject Bella to this nonesense...

Rosalie: You just don't want her to find out about last time...

Carlisle: I actually remember that. Oh, you'd better hope your brother doesn't...

Edward: NO. None of this game...

Bella: I'm SO curious now... What happened? Alice?

Alice: Well... Edward chose to eat cockroaches as opposed to spending three weeks in a prison cell, alone. But we were playing the game our way.

Bella: Your way?

Alice: You actually have to do it.

Rosalie: So... Edward...

Bella: Oh my... NO WAY.

Edward: ALICE. Why?

Bella: EW. EW. OH... EW.

Emmett: Yep. It was quite the feat. Your Edward didn't even flinch though

Bella. I'd be proud of him.

Esme: I'll admit, it was pretty gross.

Carlisle: It was disgusting. You weren't here while he coughed them up. Some of them were still alive...

Bella: OH. GROSS. EW.

Emmett: So... anyway. We playing or not?

Edward: Absolutely not.

Bella: I'm game...

Alice: Yeah, why not.

Jasper: Okay.

Rosalie: Hmmm... I guess.

Carlisle: I'm watching this one.

Esme: Emmett!

Emmett: Okay! Bella. Would you rather... make Edward eat a dead mouse... or shave your head?

Edward: No fair. You can't ask questions FOR other people. And you CANNOT make her shave her head.

Bella: Um... neither?

Emmett: You have to pick one! Before tonight... where we will have to take SOME action.

Edward: NO shaving your head Bella!

Bella: Well, I can't exactly make you eat a dead mouse.

Edward: I don't mind... I like your hair where it is...

Bella: But... Ugh.

Edward: Please? PLEASE! Please make me eat the dead mouse love!

Rosalie: And that was a weird sentence.

Bella: Alright... Um... I guess the mouse? Ew.

Edward: THANK YOU.

Emmett: Wow. Okay, your turn Bella... Ask Jasper one.

Bella: Um... okay. Jasper. Would you rather... not talk to Alice for three days straight... Or... read the entire set of 2007 encyclopedias.

Jasper: Encyclopedias. Defenitely.

Edward: Hah. Alright Jasper, lay it on me.

Jasper: Okay! Would you rather... Not touch Bella AT ALL, all night... or... shave her head yourself.

Bella: No fair! You can't ask double questions!

Emmett: Technically, it's different. Mine entailed YOU shaving you OWN head...

Alice: Oooh...

Edward: WHAT kind of a question is THAT?

Bella: I guess you aren't coming near me all night? UGH.

Alice: That bites...

Jasper: This game is getting boring.

Carlisle: Ahh... Not for me.

Rosalie: Carlisle? Would you rather be stuck here at home for five years or... shave Bella's head?

Bella: NO WAY.

Edward: NO NO NO NO!

Emmett: HAHAHAHAHA. Rose... And then we wonder why we got married.

Rosalie: When did we ever wonder that?

Esme: Right. I'm leaving.

_Esme has left the conversation_

Carlisle: I refuse both scenerios.

_Carlisle has left the conversation_

Edward: Bella... rest up. I'll come over tonight.

_Edward has left the conversation._

Bella: Okay. Bye everyone! I'm going to bed.

Alice: Sureee... you faker.

_Bella has left the conversation_

_Alice has left the conversation_

Rosalie: Bye.

_Rosalie has left the conversation_

_Jasper has left the conversation_

Emmett: And here we go again... ALL ALONE. Nobody here... AHHHH.

ADVERTISMENT BOT: WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN A BRAND NEW PAPER SHREDDER?!

Emmett: No actually. I'm a vampire, I can shred any paper I want by myself.

ADVERTISMENT BOT: WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN A BRAND NEW PAPER SHREDDER?!

Emmett: Um... No?

ADVERTISMENT BOT: WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN A BRAND NEW PAPER SHREDDER?!

Emmett: Dude. You have problems. I think someone shredded you... long ago... They shredded you and now... you're dealing with it. Pour man... all shredded into peices... All alone.

ADVERTISMENT BOT: WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN A BRAND NEW PAPER SHREDDER?!

Emmett: OKAY. Seriously, it's getting old!

ADVERTISMENT BOT: WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN A BRAND NEW PAPER SHREDDER?!

Emmett: AHHHH! It's a new form of torture! WHERE IS BELLA? EDWARD? ROSE???

ADVERTISMENT BOT: WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN A BRAND NEW PAPER SHREDDER?!

Emmett: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!


	17. Glitter Cups

**Author's note: Yes yes, I have been totally MIA. Sorry about that. I've been concentrating on my fanfic100. So I completely credit this idea to Ally, who reviewed recently. I'm going to be going through reviews, so any suggestions that have been submitted since my last chapter still will be considered.**

**Also. I have something fun. On my profile, there's a poll for what character you'd like to see in a chapter of IM Conversations... So please go vote!! The poll will end on Monday August 11... And then the actual story will most likely come out in 1-2 weeks after that. I can't give a solid date just yet. But VOTE! The results will not be shown until the poll is finished with, so it will be a surprise for you all:) Enjoy!!**

**Bella**: Alice!

**Alice**: Hey BELLA!

**Bella**: Did you tell Edward what I told you NOT to tell him?

**Alice**: What?

**Bella**: About his birthday present!

**Alice**: But his birthday was a week ago...

**Bella**: I KNOW. But he never told me. And I was going to surprise him and now I can't.

**Bella**: ALICE. I know you told him.

**Alice**: OKAY, but it wasn't my fault. He pulled it out of me.

**Bella**: ALICE!!

**Alice**: BELLA. I'm planning your wedding, is that not enough for you?

**Bella**: Awww, Alice, don't...

_Emmett has entered the conversation._

**Emmett**: Alice! Good, a safe place to talk to you. Nobody's here right?

**Alice**: Erm... no.

**Emmett**: OH GOOD. I need you to buy me more glitter.

**Alice**: But I just bought you some. Jasper will get suspicious if I come home and have to shower to take all the glitter off me again... Is that what you want? Is it?

**Emmett**: Well... no. Can't you just tell him it's for Bella's wedding.

**Alice**: I told him that five times. He won't believe me. Especially because Bella specifically asked to have NO glitter when I tried to... well, yeah.

**Emmett**: Awww, ALICE. Whatever am I going to do!!

**Bella**: Okay. I have to ask. Glitter?

**Emmett**: ALICE. YOU SAID NOBODY WAS HERE.

**Bella**: Glitter Emmett?

**Alice**: Bella, you REALLY do not want to know.

**Bella**: Edward will tell me.

**Emmett**: NOOO! DON'T TELL EDWARD!!

**Bella**: OH I will, If you don't tell me now...

**Emmett**: Bella. PLEASE let it go?

_Bella has added Edward to the conversation._

**Bella**: Edward? Will you tell me something?

**Edward**: Of course, anything.

**Bella**: What use does Emmett have for glitter?

**Emmett**: BELLA!

**Edward**: Glitter?

**Alice**: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

_Alice has added Rosalie to the conversation._

**Emmett**: ALICE!

**Rosalie**: What's going on now?

**Bella**: Why does Emmett need Alice to buy glitter?

**Edward**: Uhm. GLITTER? Alice?

**Alice**: Well I did a good job with my thoughts around you, didn't I?

**Bella**: Too bad it wasn't concentrated on SOMETHING ELSE. Involving vampiric birthdays.

**Alice**: Shut up.

**Edward**: Careful Alice.

**Rosalie**: Emmett?! WHY do you have glitter?

**Alice**: Oh, I don't think that he's going to say. He's too chicken.

**Emmett**: I am NOT.

**Alice**: Then TELL them.

**Rosalie**: Emmett? Tell us, PLEASE?

**Emmett**: You owe me paper cups for this one Alice.

**Alice**: Fine.

**Edward**: Ohhh WOW.

**Emmett**: I sometimes like to...sit down and umm... build things.

**Alice**: Ohhh Emmett. You know that's not the right word for it.

**Bella**: What IS the right word for it then? Huh?

**Edward**: Emmett? Should I tell them?

**Bella**: YOU KNOW?

**Edward**: I just heard him think it!

**Rosalie**: Please Edward, DO share.

**Emmett**: OKAY. I'll fess up. I like to do crafts.

**Edward**: Hahahahahahahaha.

**Rosalie**: CRAFTS? What kind of crafts?

**Alice**: Glitter cups especially.

**Bella**: HAHAHAHA. WHAT on earth are GLITTER CUPS. They aren't...

**Alice**: Glitter. Glued onto a cup.

**Edward**: HAHAHA. What do you use them for?

**Emmett**: Holding stuff?

**Alice**: Actually, he keeps them all in my spare closet.

_Edward has added Jasper to the conversation._

**Edward**: Jasper! LISTEN TO THIS!

**Jasper**: OKAY. What part of super-hearing don't you understand?!

**Bella**: Emmett has glitter cups!

**Jasper**: What is that, like a desease? That doesn't surprise me...

**Bella**: NO! It's CRAFTS.

**Jasper**: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh wow.

**Alice**: He also enjoys making cootie catchers sometimes. LOOK! OOH, I have one here!

**Edward**: REALLY EMMETT? What are you, a 7 year old girl?

**Alice**: Quick Bella! Pick a colour! Green, blue, purple or red.

**Bella**: Do I have to?

**Alice**: Absolutely.

**Rosalie**: CRAFTS?

**Bella**: Ahhh... Green.

**Alice**: ooookkkayyy, pick a number.

**Bella**: 1

**Alice**: Well, I was going to list them, but...fine. You need to ask a question.

**Bella**: I don't have one.

**Alice**: Pick one.

**Edward**: Do vampires exsist?

**Bella**: Yeah. Sure, do that one.

**Alice**: It says, "You never know."

**Bella**: Creative Emmett.

**Emmett**: Why thank you.

**Rosalie**: CRAFTS?!

**Emmett**: What? It's CALMING, okay?

**Rosalie**: WHEN?

**Emmett**: When you go hunting with Alice.

**Rosalie**: Oh.

**Emmett**: Hey Rose?

**Rosalie**: What now Emmett?

**Emmett**: Want me to make you a glitter cup?

**Bella**: I WANT A GLITTER CUP!

**Rosalie**: Not before I get one!

**Alice**: HEY, I've been the supplier here. ME FIRST!

**Emmett**: Fine. Alice, then Rose, then Bella.

**Bella**: HEY. WHY AM I LAST?

**Emmett**: Because you made fun of me.

**Bella**: Alice exposed your secret.

**Emmett**: True... hmm, this could take some thinking.

**Edward**: Oh wow. I'll make you a glitter cup Bella.

**Bella**: Oh. Please, don't.

**Edward**: What? I thought you wanted one?

**Bella**: No. I just wanted proof of this. And besides... it's not exactly manly.

**Emmett**: HEY!

**Rosalie**: BELLA!

**Bella**: What?! I had to sit though the stripper name teasing.

**Emmett**: Okay. I'll give you that.

**Jasper**: I'm going to walk away from this one.

_Jasper has left the conversation._

**Rosalie**: Okay. Uhm, I'm going to erm... process.

**Alice**: By process you mean come play cootie catcher with me, right?

**Rosalie**: Duh.

_Rosalie has left the conversation._

_Alice has left the conversation._

**Emmett**: I'm going to make a glitter cup!!

_Emmett has left the conversation._

**Bella**: Edward? I love you all dearly... but your family is WEIRD sometimes...

**Edward**: Tell me about it.


	18. Long Lost Friends

**Author's Note: Sorrrrry, I know I know I know I've been a long time. But I thought this might make up for it a little? I put Mike in this one, as per the results of the poll. I will probably do the poll thing again in a few chapters, but anyway, I hope you enjoy this! It's probably not my best, but at least you can get a little bit of a laugh. Also, you can maybe count on another update in a reasonable amount of time since I am on break this week ******** Enjoy, and review with any suggestions. I do look all of them over, and I have a few line up that I'll probably end up using.**

**Mike:** Bella! How are you?

**Bella**: Oh, hey Mike! I'm doing great, how about you?

**Mike**: Oh awesome. How's collage treating you?

**Bella**: Ha, well. Lots of work and all, but it's been a great time. Yourself?

**Mike**: Yeah, I'm loving it.

_Emmett has signed in_

**Emmett**: Bellaaaaa.... do you have a second?

**Bella**: Actually, I'm talking to Mike.

**Emmett**: Oh, that's so funny Bella... Edward is going to think that's waaay funny.

**Bella**: Uh? Why?

**Emmett**: When I tell him you're cheating on him with Mike. That's so unsafe Bella...

**Bella**: Emmett...

**Emmett**: I mean, COME ON. You're a vampire now. I could see back when you were human and all that maybe he could be vaguely attractive, but I mean... NOW, you're in the big leagues. And besides. Edward will be so jealous.

**Bella**: EMMETT! I'm talking to Mike, actually.

**Emmett**: Bella, NOT funny. Joke's over.

**Bella**: I'm telling you, I'm really not kidding...

_Renesmee has logged on_

**Bella**: Okay, that's funny Edward. Nessie doesn't have an IM account.

**Renesmee**: No mom, Dad made me one.

**Bella**: Oh, of course he did. Where's Edward, Emmett?

**Emmett**: Probably on the edge of come cliff cause you're CHEATING on him. Hey Ness, don't follow your mom's example of a joke, okay?

**Mike**: Er, guys? I'm still here.

**Emmett**: WAH! ROSE, THAT IS SO NOT FUNNY.

**Mike**: What? Rosalie? Where?

**Bella**: Oh my GOD EMMETT. Get off!

**Renesmee**: What's going on now?

**Bella**: What's going on is your lovely father's brother is stupid Ness.

**Emmett**: I didn't know he was actually here.

**Bella**: I TOLD YOU!

**Renesmee**: Maybe we shouldn't be talking about him like he's not here.

**Mike**: Thank you...

**Renesmee**: You're welcome. Are you a vampire.

**Bella**: Ohhh, this isn't happening. This is NOT happening.

_Edward has logged in_

**Bella**: And apparently it is.

**Edward**: What are you all doing? We haven't been on here in forever.

**Mike**: This is so weird.

**Emmett**: Bella's being mean.

**Edward**: Oh, go make a glitter cup or something Em. Mike? To what do I owe this pleasure?

**Bella**: Well, we were talking...

**Renesmee**: Emmett thinks Mommy is cheating on you.

**Mike**: Oh GOD.

**Edward**: Wow.

_Alice has logged in_

**Bella**: This keeps on getting better.

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**Emmett**: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! It's BACK! Help!!!

**Edward**: God Emmett. GO make a glitter cup. Didn't I just say this?

**Emmett**: I HAVE NO MORE CUPS.

**Alice**: Emmett, remember the thing I showed you?

**Emmett**: What?

**Alice**: Remember those special things I let you put glitter on?

**Edward**: You mean Bella's tampons from before?

**Bella**: WHAT?!

**Emmett**: OH YEAH! Those things are COOL. Thanks Alice!

ADVERTISMENT BOT: ARE YOU TIRED OF YOUR OLD COMPUTER? COME TO OUR WEBSITE TO FIND GREAT DEALS ON BAREL USED COMPUTERS! CLICK HERE FOR MORE!!

**Emmett**: NO I DO NOT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. BUT I WILL LET YOU KNOW WHEN I NEED MORE TAMPONS. I AM VERY SURE YOU CAN HELP MEET MY NEEDS THERE.

_Emmett has logged off._

**Bella**: Soooo MIKE.

**Mike**: Wow?

**Bella**: You see what my life has become?

**Mike**: Sounds exciting....

**Edward**: Oh boy.

**Renesmee**: This was not my fault.

**Mike**: Okay, so vampires? Anyone want to explain?

Edward: What about vampires? What did Emmett say?

**Mike**: Okay... I think I should go.

**Bella**: No MIKE! It was... a joke.

**Mike**: A joke?

**Bella**: YES. The whole thing. Renesmee is actually Carlisle... you know, acting... Pretending to be my um, daughter.

ADVERTISMENT BOT: ARE YOU TIRED OF YOUR OLD COMPUTER? COME TO OUR WEBSITE TO FIND GREAT DEALS ON BAREL USED COMPUTERS! CLICK HERE FOR MORE!!

**Edward**: OKAY, what IS that?

**Mike**: Well... um... that's...

**Edward**: It was a joke Mike. You know Emmett.

**Alice**: Okay guys, sorry to abandon you, but Emmett is chasing me with a tampon.

_Alice has logged off._

**Bella**: I have to go too. Talk to um... Carlisle.

_Bella has signed off._

_Renesmee has signed off._

**Edward**: So Mike. Anything new?

**Mike**: Ahh. Well, I'm married. She's got brown hair and brown eyes and she's absolutely perfect.

**Edward**: Bye Mike.


	19. The Joys of the Shopping Channel

**Author's Note: This was inspired by the many people who wanted to see a little bit more of Edward and Bella conversations... I'd list you all, but there are many of you. So thanks so much for reviewing. Sorry for the lag in updates. The school year is busy for me, and I'm working this summer. I'll try you guys! However, I have a livejournal account! Go see my profile for the link. Feel free to read, comment... whatever. I usually post all my fanfic on there aswell, so you'll stay up to date there, and you get the added bonus of reading my regular random posts! Anyway. Enough with my shameless plugs. Enjoy!!**

Edward: Hello!

Bella: Hey Edward.

Edward: How are you Love? Is Alice behaving?

Bella: Yeah, well, I'm well. Alice is being Alice, as per usual. But right now she's out with Nessie. I decided to hold up fort in the hotel room.

Edward: All that shopping tire you out? ;)

Bella: Actually, I was about to call you.

Edward: I would call you now, but Emmett is on the phone.

Bella: Great, did you guys let him at the shopping channel again?

Edward: We went out to hunt, and we came back to him ordering an electric razor.

Bella: What?!

Edward: My reaction exactly.

Bella: Did you ask why?

Edward: I thought it best not to.

Bella: Wise man I married.

***Rosalie has joined the conversation***

Rosalie: Hey guys, I just tried to call the house. Who's on the line?

Edward: Your husband. Wait- aren't you guys in the same hotel?

Bella: Yes.

Edward: And you both have computers?

Bella:.... duh.

Edward: But...

Rosalie: And it's a good thing too. The hotel made us get two separate rooms.

Edward: Why?

Bella: Fire hazard.

Rosalie: The stupid man at the desk didn't like us.

Bella: Even after Rose tried to flirt.

Edward: Do I want to know?

Rosalie: Probably not.

Bella: Definitely not.

Edward: So you're in two different rooms?

Rosalie: They're adjoining. I still think it's pointless to get a hotel room here.

Edward: Better safe than sorry. Besides, where would you stash all your stuff?

Bella: Well, where does Emmett put his Shopping Channel stuff?

Rosalie: TELL ME you didn't let him watch the shopping channel!!

Edward: I DIDN'T MEAN TO!

Rosalie: Oh BROTHER.

Bella: Actually, that's my line. You married that.

Edward: Ha. Nice Bella.

Rosalie: This is not amusing, I assure you.

**Emmett has entered the conversation**

Emmett: HEY EVERYONE!

Rosalie: EMMETT. What have I TOLD you about the shopping channel?!

Emmett: But-

Edward: SEE EM? I told you she'd be mad!!

Bella: Oh boy.

Rosalie: WHAT were you thinking?!

Emmett: THAT I COULD START MY OWN BUSINESS.

Edward: ...

Bella: What um... kind of business Emmett?

Rosalie: Yes. What KIND of business?

Emmett: Well, you know my glitter cups...

Bella: Unfortunately. The amount of times you have made me go buy tampons is ridiculous Emmett. I thought I was done with all that.

Edward: You should hear his whining... while you girls are all away, he's making Carlisle go. Jasper and I refuse.

Rosalie: Men are such babies.

Edward: Hey!

Emmett: Don't you want to hear about my business endeavour?

Bella: Yes Emmett. Go ahead.

Emmett: GLITTER RAZORS!

Edward: electric razors, actually.

Rosalie: WHAT?!

Emmett: I'll make them pretty and then sell them.

Bella: Um, Emmett? I think it's illegal to buy stuff off the shopping channel and then resell it.

Emmett: Oh, like we've always abided by the LAW.

Edward: Emmett. I know I shouldn't ask, but how many did you buy?

Emmett: Three hundred.

Bella: THREE HUNDRED?!

Emmett: It took some bribing. But I convinced them. Don't worry! I fought!

Rosalie: Oh, why why why?

Bella: Wow Emmett. Wow.

Edward: I just tried to call Bella on my cell phone and it was dead Emmett. Any ideas?

Emmett: Oh, I had to make multiple calls. By the way, you're all getting some mailed in your name.

Rosalie: You impersonated a girl?

Emmett: Oh, not you. I used Bella's name.

Bella: They thought Isabella was a boy's name?

Emmett: I just said my name was Bella, they didn't question it.

Bella: Did they ask if you were a stripper?

Edward: NOT this again.

Rosalie: Your name does NOT sound like a stripper's Bella. I've told you.

Bella: Whatever guys. Now I get to be a GUY. Ugh.

Rosalie: Emmett, WHY?

Edward: I'll get him back Bella, don't worry.

Bella: Okay, well I think Alice is coming down the hall with Nessie. I'm going to go check the bags and see what we're returning.

Edward: Sounds good. Bye Bella.

Bella: Bye everyone.

**Bella has left the conversation**

**Edward has left the conversation**

Rosalie: We will discuss this when I get home.

**Rosalie has left the conversation**

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Emmett: Tell me something I don't know! I always watch that channel! AND IF YOU GOT TO KNOW ME, YOU WOULD KNOW THAT!

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Emmett: I ALREADY WATCHED IT! TWELVE TIMES TODAY.

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Emmett: Why is it always me?


End file.
